There is too much news coming out of the Bachelor rumour compound and I think I’m having an aneurysm.
The latest, care of Woman’s Day, is that our thick-necked boy, Nick Cummins is getting M.A.R.R.I.E.D.
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The big scoop comes from Honey Badger’s Uncle Mike – the pizza shop tsar immortalised in episode two of this season – who apparently told the tabloid point blank: “He’s getting married.”
To quote the immortal Rove McManus, “What the?”
While it is entirely possible that Cummins bestows an engagement ring on his Bachie bae, because we have seen the ring before in a promo, for god’s sake, are they really together or not? Badge’s absence from the damn country rn, and the almost total lack of Bachelor content on his Insty leads us to believe that they are not, but surely Uncle Mike knows best. Surely.
Uncle Mike also told the gossip rag that he had signed a confidentiality agreement with the network which means he cannot spill the beans on who the winner truly is – he does know though – but that he hasn’t met her yet. That rules out this season’s villain Romy Poulier, who accompanied Badge on a flour-y date to Uncle Mike’s pizzy shop, before trying to give Bachie a hickey.
Here’s Uncle Mike: “All my mates’ sheilas have been asking me, ‘What’s the go?’”
And yet he won’t just GIVVUS what we want. Juicy, juicy goss. Deets. All of it.
Still, Woman’s Day reckon the pair split after they started to plan a fucken wedding, and JFC put me out of my misery and tell me what’s what, Network Ten, I can’t handle all of these emotions.
Punters still have Brittany Hockley pegged as the series’ winner, so Woman’s Day did their due diligence and talked to one of her mates about their very possible split: “Britt’s extremely close with her family, especially her sister Sheri, who will be there as a shoulder to cry on when things get tough.”
Wow. Illuminating stuff here, folks.
Looks like we’ll have no concrete answers until Thursday, but with rumours swirling that he’s already got in with both Cass Wood and Sophie Tieman, likely runner-up after Brooke Blurton probably bails, we have no clue what to think.
