It’s April, folks! The weather’s finally getting cooler. The sky is a little greyer. You’re switching from shorts to jeans. It’s all bloody happening. And while the temptation might be to run outside and rail against the coming winter, what you should do instead is simply stay inside forever, because Netflix just dropped its April release schedule and it’s a good-ass time to stay the hell at home.
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Along with the second half of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and the choose-your-own-adventure Bear Grylls special which simply must end with you making him drink his own piss repeatedly until he cries, a whole mess of good, good gear is headed your way real soon.
Chief among them? Movies like Bridget Jones’s Diary and the follow-up Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, along with The Exorcist, the Wheatus-invoking Jason Biggs vehicle Loser, Kevin James getting his ass kicked in Here Comes the Boom, the third of the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy The World’s End, the Academy Award-winning The Big Short, and the Academy Award-fucking up La La Land.
It’s a hell of a month for new gear, folks. Do yourselves a favour and get around it.
The full list of Netflix’s April releases are below. Get into it.
April 1st
ULTRAMAN
The Exorcist
The Brothers Grimsby
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
Loser
Here Comes the Boom
The Smurfs 2
Fun with Dick & Jane
I Spy
Stepmom
Sense and Sensibility
Something’s Gotta Give
April 2nd
Kevin Hart: Irresponsible
Going in Style
Gladiator
April 3rd
Suzzanna: Buried Alive
April 4th
American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace
April 5th
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina – Part 2
Tijuana – Season 1
Persona: Collection – Season 1
Roman Empire – Caligula: The Mad Emperor – Season 1
Spirit Riding Free – Season 8
Unicorn Store
Our Planet
April 7th
The Big Short
April 9th
Trolls: The Beat Goes On! – Season 6
La La Land
April 10th
You vs Wild – Season 1
April 11th
Black Summer – Season 1
April 12th
Huge in France – Season 1
Special – Season 1
Mighty Little Bheem – Season 1
The Perfect Date
The Silence
Who Would You Take To A Deserted Island?
April 15th
No Good Nick – Season 1
Kick-Ass 2
American History X
April 16th
Super Monsters Furever Friends – Season 1
April 17th
Bridget Jones’s Diary
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Les Misérables
King Kong
The World’s End
About Time
Spy Game
Along Came Polly
Oblivion
Savages
The Adjustment Bureau
April 18th
My First First Love – Season 1
Inferno
April 19th
Samantha! – Season 2
A Fortunate Man
Music Teacher
Someone Great
Brené Brown: The Call to Courage
April 20th
Grass is Greener
April 22nd
Selection Day – New Episodes
Pinky Malinky – Part 2
April 23rd
I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
April 24th
Bonding – Season 1
April 25th
Aurora
The Beguiled
April 26th
The Protector – Season 2
Yankee – Season 1
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power – Season 2
Archer – Season 9
Street Food
ReMastered: Devil at the Crossroads
April 30th
Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward
Ingress: The Animation
Baki – Part 2
The Nice Guys
TBA
Chambers – Season 1
