Rule number 1: Never underestimate the powers of Miss LiLo.
Rule number 2: Never fucking betray rule number 1.
Let’s get the obvious out of the way – Cody Simpson did, in fact, win as robot. Rob Mills was, in fact, wolf. Gorgi Coghlan was, in fact, monster. Songs were sung. Claps were had.
NOW, let’s move on to the main event: Lindsay being the baddest bitch to have ever existed in the game.
After being doubted the entire season, Miss Cady proved the incessant haters wrong by correctly guessing the ‘Masked Singer’ winner, thereby affirming why no one should ever sleep on her. We love a Cinderella story.
There was also this fucking wild moment where Lindsay guessed it was Cody, who’d dated her sister, and threatened him by saying she paid for all his furniture and that she wanted it back. I’m confused, but I like it.
I could talk about a whole heap of aspects from tonight’s finale, like Jackie O demonstrating a rather impressive track record for correct guesses, Hughesy obviously being the most clueless one there or Rob Mills being a certifiable snacc (or “stud muffin” according to my LiLo, the speaker of truth), but tonight shall remain a strict loving ode to the queen we don’t deserve, Queen Mykonos. Let’s party.
When Lindsay Lohan manages to not know a single Australian celebrity who was revealed but guesses the winner correctly #MaskedSingerAU pic.twitter.com/EF7XecYsBp
— Andrew Brown (@AndrewBrownAU) October 21, 2019
This is the most bizarre thing ever: Lindsay Lohan asking Cody Simpson for furniture back #MaskedSingerAU pic.twitter.com/ybXN8A4oZ0
— hopzilla (@trinnybopper) October 21, 2019
https://twitter.com/hanaphylaxis/status/1186222328641773568
She guessed Cody. Where all my Lindsay haters at now?
Write your own pages in the Burn Book bitches!!!#MaskedSingerAU https://t.co/rvLQCIR10I
— Wade Shipard (@wadeshipard) October 21, 2019
“You’re a stud muffin, as my mom would say” I feel that Lindsay #MaskedSingerAU
— Hayley. ❄ DJATS era (@AussyAngel) October 21, 2019
Y’all joked about Lindsay Lohan not knowing who anyone was but she is THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS GUESSED THE WINNER #MaskedSingerAU
— Jenna Guillaume (@JennaGuillaume) October 21, 2019
There have been some turbulent rumours about whether she’ll return for the confirmed second season but, as of right now, it looks like she *checks notes* will be. Here’s to hoping she applies for permanent residency.
As per usual, stream ‘Xanax’ for clear skin. Deuces.
