It’s the final two weeks, friends and to kick things off we copped a filler episode with minimal drama which was refreshing albeit meh. But Florence made her return so there’s that and Leah actually left. Who would’ve thunk it?
Anyway, Jake shits himself the moment he sees Flo and, “Oh, you’re fucking kidding me,” gets replayed at least ten times because as we learn, the editing team don’t have much material to work with in this episode. So we cop a flashback of Fuckboi Jake and how he completely “played” Flo. This is the build-up.
And then the ranting begins.
Flo’s here because her time was cut short ‘cos Jake-Jake-Jake, and the gals are kinda concerned ‘cos Flo says she doesn’t give a fuck about Jake too many times. The build-up continues.
Keira is the bloody word of reason in this entire episode and hits Flo up with the, “Um, why are you here tho???” Flo says something along the lines of “Jake-not-jake-jake-not-jake”. And Keria tells us, “Why couldn’t you just send him a DM on Instagram?”
But nah.
After waiting an entire episode, Jake finally takes Flo aside and the music swells…
Flo just wants to know why Jake put so much effort into convincing her he was giving her a rose when he wasn’t going to. They talk over each other a lot, the music swells even more, we get a close-up of their sweaty faces but then Jake apologises, and instead of drama the two surprisingly sort things out like adults and wham bam, the shit storm becomes a random sprinkle of rain.
Flo and Jake are not gonna be besties but they’ll occasionally like each other’s Insta pics.
And that’s it! After all that saucy build-up, we have a resolution. Whoa.
But wait – in the final ten minutes we get another bite.
Osher struts his stuff, clasps his hands together, and informs the people that Flo was the last entrant into Paradise.
The earth starts to rumble, the blue sky turns grey, and there standing amongst the dazed bystanders is Leah absolutely bloody fuming. And for the 100th time, she says, “It’s time for me to go home.”
The music swells again. Somewhere, someone starts chanting “drama, drama, drama”.
Don’t look so happy Leah. #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/enfLDw09BI
— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) April 22, 2018
“Alright, let’s go,” Leah says. The producers hurry after her as does Megan who’s just triple-checking that Leah is indeed hopping in a f-uber. She is, but not in thongs. Leah dons her rose ceremony outfit and looking absolutely fly, wheels her suitcase to the remaining survivors, declares she’s ready to go, waits for someone to object, continues, and then holy shit she actually leaves.
And that’s it, another resolution! Shooketh.
Meanwhile, Tara and Sam say they’re in love with each other, it’s so sweet I throw up. They also love each other so much Tara’s hair is starting to morph into Sam’s.
Oh yeah, Elora breaks Eden’s heart and he throws a tanty and leaves too. Bye Eden.
Annnnd, tweets.
Eden anytime someone doesn’t like him or doesn’t want to kiss him #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/JvqnYOLpsG
— Chloe (@ChloeLouQ) April 22, 2018
The more I look into Edens eyes the more I feel like I’m going to be murdered #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/AeMZVCdImh
— Bridie (@itisbridie) April 22, 2018
Leah got no dates, misses her dog, wears her best outfit so it doesn’t go to waste. Leah is finally fully relatable. #BachelorinParadiseAU
— kanye loves kanye (@KanyeInventor) April 22, 2018
SO: Flo returned and said she was over Jake but then wouldn’t stop talking about Jake, Thomas and Rachael went on a golf date full of innuendos, Sam and Tara said they loved each other and I cried & Leah FINALLY leah-ft 🙏🏻👏🏼 #BachelorInParadiseAu
— Aliza (@AlizanotEliza) April 22, 2018
But what does Osher do when he’s not on camera? Is he at a yoga class? Writing a memoir? Starting a cult? What does the great man do with all his free time? #BachelorInParadiseAU
— Katie Horn (@_katharinej) April 22, 2018
Same.
Turns out the real drama is tomorrow because we see Apollo CRY in the previews.
Catch ya next time.
