There is no need for text here. You are all here for one thing. You are here to see John Wick.
Shhhh. Shhh. No more words. Only John Wick now.
Now that you’ve watched it, let’s recap on some of the things you saw:
- John Wick looking moody in the rain.
- John Wick running in the rain.
- John Wick shooting some guys with a big gun while in a room with sick green lighting.
- John Wick throwing that gun onto the roof of a car and then it bounces off and hits a guy in the head.
- John Wick riding a motorbike.
- John Wick killing some guys while riding that very same motorbike. I think with a nunchuck? Unclear.
- John Wick nearly getting his nuts impaled with a throwing knife, then taking that throwing knife and tossing it into a guy’s head.
- John Wick kicking a guy through some glass, in a cool way.
- John Wick shooting a motorbike guy in the head while riding a horse alongside the motorbike.
- John Wick climbing an enormous sand dune (?)
- John Wick shooting another guy in the head, but at a different angle. Still very good.
- John Wick exchanging smouldering glances with Halle Berry.
It all fucking rules. John Wick 3: Chapter 3 – Parabellum – a title so absurd I would not accept it about any other franchise than John Wick, which I love – lands on May 16. It stars Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry, Mark Dacascos, Ian McShane, Lance Reddick, and Laurence Fishburne.
Now, excuse me while I return to what I was doing: performing all of John Wick’s sick moves in the mirror as I wait for May. This is my special time. Do not interrupt me.
