Stay with us on this one, because there’s a fair bit to unpack. But it’s all good shit, we assure you. The real, real, real good shit.

HBO, the benevolent ruler and overlord of all prestige TV, is celebrating the 20th anniversary of the premiere of their enduringly excellent series The Sopranos, which first hit TV screens on January 10th, 1999. Take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor at the inexorable march of time.

Quite obviously, HBO’s social media channels have been all over the impending milestone this week, leading up to today where whoever is in charge of the cable giant’s Twitter feed decided to hand out Sopranos nicknames to, quite literally, as many people as they possible could.

The call was reasonably innocent enough: Reply to a Tweet with your first name, and the account will bestow upon you a name fit for a Capo in North Jersey.

Naturally, this attracted a lot of attention from notable people, including Ben Schwartz, who decided to try and get in on the fun.

They got him an absolute beaut.

KABOOM.

Fair play to him, though. Schwartz responded in probably the only good way possible: By quoting Silvio Dante‘s rendition of Michael Corleone‘s iconic Godfather line.

You cannot escape it, Ben. Once you’re in Pawnee there’s only one way out.

Schwartz wasn’t the only one to cop a perfect nicknaming from the HBO feed. Scores of other celebs got in on the game and had their Jersey identities revealed.

There’s one cardinal rule of surviving on the streets: You do not disrespect the feared First Name Craig.

That dude will wreck your world.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to watch Pine Barrens on repeat all weekend.