It’s almost Game Of Thrones time, babey! That means it’s time to theory the hell out of this 8th and final season – a season I feel we have been waiting 84 years to drop.
[jwplayer wVWyAnB7]
Not one but two teaser trailers have landed for us to analyse – but who cares about what is LIKELY to happen? Let’s talk about what we all hope and pray occurs, that’s way more fun. As someone who just binged the 7 existing seasons over three weeks, I feel I’m the right person for this job.
1. Jon Snow & Daenerys Have A Small Targaryen Bebe
If Jon Snow doesn’t inseminate Daenerys with a little dragon baby (look ideally not a real dragon, just a human with the vibe of a dragon) I will THROW MY TV OUT THE WINDOW. Surely that is the point of the Lord of Light, and the point of us finding out Jon is actually Aegon Targaryen, and the point of this whole bloody show to be honest. That boat fucking better lead to a baby or else.
2. Jon Had Better Ride A Dragon
Surely this is happening. I don’t even need to explain this to you – only Targaryens should be allowed on dragons in a pilot capacity (the blue zombie one doesn’t count OK).
3. Speaking Of Jon, Let’s See Him Be Fire-Immune Too
Something I noticed while watching the 7 seasons of this show – Jon’s a Targaryen, and given he can pat the dragons he’s clearly a bit of a powerful one. So… is he the father of dragons? Can he resist fire like Daenerys? This could be a neat little trick for these guys heading into the Big Kahuna Battle.
4. Moving On, Let’s See A Battle Of The Dragons
I want zombie-blue-dragon and scariest-dragon (Drogon) to have a fire-off. Now THAT’s a fucken song of ice and fire, babey!!
5. Cersei Had Better Die A Really Vicious Death
Look, Cersei semi grew on me during my re-watch, because really – her motivation is purely family. Unless you’re Tyrion. She will straight up FUCK YOU UP if you come for her family, you know? But she’s not really gonna like, burninate all the villagers for no reason. Unless they fuck with her family, that is. Anyway – she lost me again at the end of season 7. I forgot how she made a fake-pact with the Dragon Squad and planned to just NGAF about the army of the dead, waiting for her opposers to die fighting for Westeros. So hopefully she dies REAL bad.
6. Actually, Ideally By Jaime’s Hand
So something my Editor Josie reminded me of is the prophecy, which stated that Cersei’s “little brother” would kill her. Hence why she hates Tyrion, among other reasons. Anyway, Josie’s theory – and my new wish – is that Jamie will be the one to kill her. He’s the younger twin, and we know he’s aware she’s a psychopathic maniac now…
7. A Few Marriages Would Be Nice Before Everyone Dies
Thinking: Missandei and Grey Worm, Daenerys and Jon (obviously), Sam and Gilly…
8. And Some Romances
IF TORMUND IS DEAD C/O WALL COLLAPSE, I WILL BE VERY ANGRY. AND IF HE’S ALIVE AND DOESN’T GET WITH BRIENNE, I WILL BE JUST AS ANGRY.
9. Can Arya Fucken Tell Everyone She Murdered Walder Frey?
How has she not crowed on about this for 40 years to Sansa/Bran!? THE GUY MURDERED MOST OF YOUR FAMILY, FFS. This was a huge win and I want to see the remaining Starks high-five over her magnificent murder.
10. Jamie Fighting Alongside The Northeners
One fantastic thing we surely will get to see is everyone banding together to fight off those demonic zombie fuckers. And Jamie, the guy who was firmly Team Lannister by way of, well, being a Lannister is the guy I most want to see in the mix. He’s had such personal development over the series, and it’ll be nice to see him set aside his differences and unify with the others.
11. Arya Fight A Real Battle
Look technically she’s like, maximum 15 years old right? She probably shouldn’t be in a battle but also she’s a goddamn lord with Needle and I’d love to see her finally flex her swordsmanship on some evil fucks in a war. And NOT while wearing a face, TYVM.
12. But Also, More Faces Elsewhere Pls
I love the faces. Here’s to more face-wearing and caper-doing by Arya.
13. Where Are Those Direwolves
Actually who is even alive now – Ghost, maybe Arya’s? Whatever, bring those doggies back. Maybe with new babies!!! I just like dogs OK. I miss those guys.
14. Once And For All Are We Believing In The Lord Of Light Or Not
Can we have some finality on the Lord of Light thing, because we’ve got The Hound believing that shit, and Jon coming back from the dead and so on – but we also have Dead Shireen so….
15. CLEGANEBOWL
I need a showdown between Zombie The Mountain and The Hound more than I need air at this point.
