Hey there. Feeling inexplicably horny on a Tuesday morning? Looking for a weird sexual rush on your pre-hump day commute? Excited for another instalment of the joyless kink-lite gyrations of the Fifty Shades universe? Do I have the treat for you! The first trailer of Fifty Shades Freed is here, even though it feels like the last one came out approximately two months ago.
And this one comes with drama! Opening with newlyweds Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) enjoying their luxe honeymoon, trouble quickly intrudes into paradise when an attractive blonde architect flirts with Christian. Gasp! The horror!
What begins as a flirtation quickly turns into… lots of gunfights, fistfights and car chases, somehow. Also sex. There seems to be a surplus of fucking and fucking-adjacent activities. That’s whats getting your bum into the cinema seat, right? If you wanted car chases, you’d watch Fast & The Furious, repeatedly, like I do.
Anyways, here’s the trailer, you filthy horn-hounds:
Set your watches for Valentine’s Day. Because there is no question your local cinema will be flooded with horny mums.
