Apollo 10/10 lands causing planet Paradise to spontaneously combust. No but really, it’s nice seeing Bachie Apollo on our screens again. Everything is okay… except it isn’t because if you haven’t noticed, Apollo is a decent human being who’s gorgeous and does magic so surprise, surprise he’s on the most wanted list.

Once again we have a love triangle between best mates (or not at all) Elora and Simone and Apollo. Long story short, Simone and Elora are ridiculous, but Elora more so.

So Simone goes completely cold on Jarrod because she wants a manly man blah blah blah, enter Apollo with a date card. Elora is trying to run away from Eden so she’s conveniently not here while Apollo descends on the island.

Fucking finally.

Apollo, god of sun is here and as Jarrod says, the girls absolutely froth him… as do the guys.

Simone AKA Penis Sticker Girl and Apollo feel da *sparks* and Apollo picks Simone for his date. Which is when Elora returns and gets pissy about it and launches at Apollo that night for a chat. In the corner of the screen there’s Simone who’s absolutely seething.

Us, the blessed viewers learn Elora and Simone have apparently liked the same guy before and shit went down so here we are again… except on TV.

*Foreshadowing*

Apollo and Simone go on their literally stormy date where we cop a montage of shirtless Apollo and sunscreen, complete with saucy music.

The two fall in… water a lot and back in the cabana Elora is having a bloody whinge about Apollo and blah, blah, blah happens again because she always had her eye on Apollo and blah, blah, blah.

Against Elora’s wishes, Simone brings up her bestie on the date and suddenly it’s Survivor. Simone acts indifferent about bring Elora up but we all know exactly what she’s trying to do.

Fast-forward to their return and the real shitstorm begins. After some feigned interest, Elora takes Simone aside and here we bloody go.

It was talking over each other x 10 until Elora took it a step too far.

So Simone graciously tells us, “This guy who we previously liked, didn’t like her (Elora) but liked me (Simone).” But the reverse if it’s from Elora’s perspective. But sweet, totally diplomatic mature Elora doesn’t think it’s a guy issue, it’s a Simone issue.

Mature Elora then says, “If I had a problem with you fucking Courtney on my couch, I would’ve stopped it right away.”

Elora, what the fuck.

Obviously Simone is uncomfortable with Elora telling Australia about her sex life – a complete breach of her privacy and she walks away.

Fucked guy on couch? Courtney from Georgia Love’s season.

But hey, we learn a fake love letter gets passed around in the previews so things somehow get worse.

Naturally, the entire point of this episode – Apollo – is oblivious and or doesn’t care about the drama.

Oh yeah, Keira and Jarrod are back on again, gross. But Sam and Tara have the most adorable date and you can catch those deets in tomorrow’s recap.

As always tweets.

P.S If you Google Apollo, god of sun” ‘beardless, athletic youth’ comes up and that is spot on.

P.P.S I’m Grant sleeping on the couch.

Catch ya tomorrow.

Image: Channel 10