A Bunch Of Thoughts That I, A Die-Hard ‘Charmed’ Fan, Had While Watching The Reboot

You literally will not find a bigger Charmed fan in the world or the underworld than me. Period. I’m like the Prue Halliwell of Charmed fans: the first one here, the most powerful and absolutely willing and able to prove you wrong if you try to tell me otherwise.

Here are just some examples of why I reign supreme in the Charmed fandom:

So when it was first announced that a CW reboot was coming without the original girls, I was, of course, disappointed. However my philosophy is that poxy Charmed is better than no Charmed and unlike other die-hards, I don’t want them to fail and fuck up the legacy. I want them to succeed and create a kick-ass reboot which will hopefully include our girls at some point down the track.

Guided by this open-minded point of view, I’ve gone ahead and scribbled down all the thoughts that went through my head as I watched the pilot.

Buckle up, witches…

-Ugh. I’m literally never going to be able to make peace with the fact that they’re using the Witches of East End house. This is a Charmed reboot, make nods to the original series, not every supernatural series to ever exist, FFS. Plus the idea that every single witch family lives in a pink, Victorian house is just stoopid. It worked for the OG series ‘coz they lived in San Francisco but it completely misses the mark in this series. I’m offended on behalf of both the original actresses AND the cast and crew of Witches of East End (RIP).

-I’m digging the spooky horror-type feel. That’s something that the original pilot nailed.

-Hang on, are they playing Camila Cabello? Damn, they’re really trying to hone in on the Latina vibe, aren’t they?

-Holy fuck! Hai there, bb Leonardo DiCaprio. I was hoping for some eye candy in this.

-I low-key love the mum, she’s a great follow up to Patty. Does she have to die?

-I kinda dig how Mel’s sexuality is just a throwaway detail. They haven’t painted it as something she’s struggling with or something she has yet to reveal to her family. She’s a girl who likes girls. Full stop.

-I’m loving the texts on the screen. It adds a modern but not try hard-y feel to the show.

-I’m liking the Latin spell. It makes it feel more authentic and traditional.

-Ok why the FUCK would anyone want to join a sorority?

-Rush? Yeah rush the fuck out of there.

-Oh my God, Mel is me at every social event.

-Stealing her sister’s shit and drunkenly vomiting on them? Ok, maybe I’m more Maggie.

-Is it just me or is the idea of two siblings finding the mum dead in the first ep extremely reminiscent of Supernatural? Even their corpse pose is the fucking same.

-Are you kidding me? They’ve had all this time and they haven’t even made an opening credits yet?

-When/If they finally get their finger out, I wonder if they’ll use ‘How Soon Is Now?’ or opt for an instrumental like the final season of the original. Or hey, maybe they’ll go with a Camila Cabello song.

-The font is v. similar to the original.

-Harry is Giles from Buffy, but make it fuckable.

-The shoutout to Roxeanne Gay is a nice touch.

-Holy shit she punched him. Mel is officially my favourite.

-Macy rocking up and being embraced by the youngest sister but not the middle one, not to mention the light effect when the three unite, is an absolute nod to Charmed Again.

-Also the lightning then the blackout is an obvious throwback to the original pilot.

-I like that they cut to the chase and the girls’ powers have already developed. I feel like at this point in the original pilot the girls were only just fiddling with the Ouija Board/discovering the Book of Shadows. I reckon that’s key in a reboot – everyone knows where this is going, no need to set up the stage. Just start dazzling us with your powers pls.

-I’m curious to see how the Dads are going to fit into this series. In the original, both Victor (the original three’s mortal Dad) and Sam (Paige’s Whitelighter Dad) were both major plot points. I wonder what role the two Dads will play now.

-What the fuck, they’re literally playing ‘Havana’ by Camila Cabello in the bar. I love everything about Camila, thinking of being her for Halloween, but the repeated use of her music makes it seem like they’re over-saturating us with the Latina vibe and it almost feels a bit forced.

-She’s stalking her new sister on social media. That’s exactly what I would do. Props for that!

“Kappa is woke” … The problem with the older generation writing stories for millennials using modern slang is that they don’t always know how to weave it into sentences in a way that millennials actually would and it ends up sounding very, well…

-I repeat, why the FUCK would anyone join a sorotiy?

-The “cute skirt, where’d you get it?” is a definite Regina George Easter Egg.

-MINI QUICHES!

-Already shipping Miko and Mel.

-Shit Mel’s freezing power is way stronger than Piper’s was in the first ep – she froze shit that was outside the room. It’s almost to the level of future Piper in Morality Bites where she freezes the entire city square. Seems a bit too advanced, if you ask me. I don’t buy it.

-I’m glad they didn’t knock off Piper’s hand gesture. Literally no one can pull that off but Holly Marie Combs.

-The attic aesthetic is a vibe and a half.

-I like how the powers match their personalities e.g. Mel being a control freak and Maggie caring what people think.

-Not loving the Book of Shadows. I literally made a better quality BOS when I was 10 years old.

-OoOoOoOoh I wonder what this incarnation of The Source will look like!

-The Melinda Warren tie-in is interesting, I wonder if they’ll explore that connection in future eps.

-I like that they’ve used the Window of Opportunity concept from Charmed Again. That was kinda raised in one ep then never mentioned again so I’m glad they’ve picked up on it.

-Ugh, the orbing really bothers me. It’s a total knock off of Harry Potter‘s apparating. Also he’s a Whitelighter – white lights are kinda essential!

-The freezing effect is sick!

-The demon dog reminds me of the shapeshifter dog in the third episode (Thank You For Not Morphing).

-The science aspect of the show is cool. It reminds me of season three when Piper develops her exploding power and Leo describes it as “speeding up molecules”.

-I think they absolutely nailed the Maggie character. Everything about her (her dialogue, her wardrobe, her interests) are in line with millennial girls and how they’d react in this situation.

-No seriously, why would anyone join a sorority?

-Heeeey mini leo. More of him, please!

-She just said “what the hell?” Can they not swear?

-… “drank?”

-Oh shit baby Leo’s the demon. Cole 2.0? ‘Coz if so, don’t even go there. You will lose.

-Here’s the thing: I like that they’re teaching consent to the next generation, but it feels quite jarring in a supernatural series with demon dogs and witch smoothies. Maybe I’ll change my mind about this as the series goes on but for now it kinda feels like they’re making light of an extremely serious topic.

-Holy shit the baking powder worked. I wish they’d used salt instead as it’s in line with actual witchcraft and would’ve shown that they did their research, ya know?

-People have been whining about the lack of chemistry between the sisters – I completely disagree. I think this is the one thing they’ve nailed! The girls (especially Mel and Maggie) look and act like actual sisters and as a trio there’s sisterly chemistry between them. I already love these girls.

-I cant fkn wait for the episode where they summon their mum and have a big emotional moment à la That ’70s Episode, Just Harried and Charmed Again.

-Nasty woman beanie!

-Oh fuck Professor Xavier’s a demon!

-WHAT is with the demon? Why did they blatantly knock off the White Walkers from Game of Thrones?

-I mean… even Jeremy, a human looking creature, was scarier than this thing. It looks like an enlarged Maccas toy.

-Ok I know I said I like the Latin spells but I really hope that they introduce English spells at some point. Charmed without rhyming chants just isn’t Charmed!

-Wipe his memory? Do Whitelighters have memory dust in the reboot too?

-Dayum, they met their half-sister 25 seconds ago and she’s already moving in. At least Paige waited ’til like episode six.

-Fuck yeah, Ouija board!

-Look, the OG Ouija Board was cooler but I like that this one looks like mine AKA one that fans can easily find.

-Yeah I knew hot Giles was shady, I doubt he’ll be evil though. He’s probably just possessed or something.

All in all I found it enjoyable to watch. Tonally, I think it’s a great mix of camp and horror with some nice throwbacks to the original but if they have any chance of succeeding they need to not knock off other supernatural TV series’. The next few eps will be extremely telling as to whether or not it has the power to cement itself as a series in its own right once the Charmed 2.0 novelty wears off but as a fan I am genuinely rooting for them.

May the power of three set you free.

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