If you are unfamiliar with what The Bachelorette is, allow me to get you up to speed: A dozen or so men with implausible names wear suits with the confidence and posture of a 17-year-old go on the TV in the hopes of finding the love of one beautiful woman or becoming famous for being just the fucking worst or both. That’s the show.
[jwplayer gxLFr3ky]
In the course of allowing this process to happen, the dozen or so men and the beautiful woman are given a series of arbitrary competitive tasks to undertake with the sole purpose of pushing them towards total psychological collapse, which makes for wonderful television. In and amongst these competitive tasks are ‘dates’, which are closer to perhaps pantomimes, in which two people who are ostensibly grown adults play out a dialogue with the emotional and social capacity of an isolated teen.
Needless to say, this whole thing makes some people act a lot like a dick. Does this dickhead behaviour represent their true selves? It’s hard to say — were the kids in Lord of the Flies more themselves before or after their collapse into violent tribalism? That is the kind of question that only a first-year arts course lecturer can answer. None of us are ready to stare into the depths of the human soul just because of The Bachelorette.
Tonight, that dickhead behaviour came from Jamie, whose brain simply could not accept a general agreement from The Boys to just give Angie one god damn tiny little bit of frickin space.
While, in the end, only God will truly judge him, Twitter also certainly had a crack at it:
But really jamie is a serial killer we all get that vibe right? #BacheloretteAU
— beef strog (@sianvaladian) October 16, 2019
Jamie comes across as a bit clingy. Sheesh calm down #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/XbgqR9GvJP
— jennybr5 (@jennybr5) October 16, 2019
https://twitter.com/brutalkind/status/1184415231558029312
Jamie: “I know I’m exactly what Angie is looking for.” #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/LVB1lMJ9wZ
— Wretched Shrew (@ShrewWretched) October 16, 2019
Jamie. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/tY61YKGlWm
— Ryan Lynch (@BusynessCasual) October 16, 2019
https://twitter.com/WSpark98NZ/status/1184405642146009089
The Channel 10 security on standby if Jamie tries to grab Angie: #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/KToMmiMoEN
— seapunk aesthete 💮 (@artpunkamor) October 16, 2019
Jamie though #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/0Ot2CWn666
— Annie Papas (@anniepapas) October 16, 2019
Eventually Jamie is going to just appear by Angie’s bed in the middle of the night all like:
“Can I grab you for a quick chat?”#BacheloretteAU— Michelle 🐿💨 (@MichelleMackey1) October 16, 2019
https://twitter.com/PseudonymFreak/status/1184403542406131714
Apparently this is not exactly what Angie has been seeing, as he somehow managed to stay in, and is probably celebrating in perverse ways you cannot even imagine.
You can read our recap here.
