Happy Easter Monday folks, Bachelor in Paradise just aired and it was a total mess again. A lot happened but it’s safe to say Flo is still on top for drama closely followed by a puppy named Jake by whatever is happening between Tara and Sam.
Jarrod‘s also back and sings “I’ve got the power” as he’s gleefully informed that he gets to choose a partner for a date. But not before we get to relive the moment he gets his grapey heart stomped on by Sophie Monk.
So Keira cops a date card which she uses on Michael who is miraculously not using a singlet. They have an awkward date and there is no spark. Tara is pissed-but-I’m-not back at the cabana and unexpectedly bonds with Keira’s leftovers, Sam. Yes, it’s unexpected but they’re both weird and loose cannons sooo…
When Keira sees Jarrod, she dashes over to him. They’ve flirted over Instagram, there’s a “spArkkKkKkK” but as Jarrod says, “it’s only day one, I don’t want to fall in love yet,” but then Ali walks in and Jarrod forgets about everything he just said.
Oh yeah, Ali.
Ali’s the “stage-five-clinger” as she says from season one. Jarrod can smell it, they’re kindred spirits and thus a love triangle is born – not that Ali’s aware of it yet.
Ali’s also “stupidly hot” according to Jarrod. She’s not here to play and make friends, she wants a husband and children. Ali’s family owns a vineyard, so does Jarrod’s so Jarrod starts sweating. Luckily, Mack third wheels and we can all bear to look at the TV again.
There’s also a shit moment between Flo and Ali where the former is talking about her history with Jake again and the latter lowkey slut shames her for it. Great.
Flo is even more shitty than usual as she storms around the island and complains about Jake even though she chose him. Live with your mistakes, Flo. Pissed-Off-Flo is half of the episode because Pissed-Off-Flo regrets giving her rose to Jake even though she knew it was the wrong decision but would still appreciate it if Jake pretended he still liked her.
Speaking of which.
Megan also appears and has a blind date with Jake. They get along, they’re also mates in real life, and somewhere back on the shore, Flo rants to anyone who’s willing to hear how horrible Jake is.
Megan makes a terrible decision and lets Jake kiss her. The intense Bachelor ‘oh hell no’ music plays signalling to us that Hurricane Flo is going to hit the island soon. And we see a sneak peak of it in the previews – Flo’s inability to understand bisexuality.
As always, enjoy the tweets from your fellow viewers.
Tara’s two best choices:
1. Nobody
2. Not Sam#BachelorInParadise— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) April 2, 2018
https://twitter.com/cassstang/status/978194532817821696
https://twitter.com/ThisisArtemis/status/980758707830013952
https://twitter.com/Cazzsea/status/980754141592002560
So when is Apollo arriving in paraidse? Asking for myself. #BachelorInParadise
— David Rolph (@dkrolph) April 2, 2018
Well, that was fun.
Catch ya next time.
