Bachelor in Paradise: It’s like Alien vs. Predator if instead of pitting the antagonists from two iconic science fiction franchises against each other, you collected the best and worst people from two gender dimorphic versions of a reality TV show. It’s like all-stars football, except everyone is much, much hornier.

Tonight’s premiere was as full of bombshells as a fully laden B-52, none more dramatic than the much-hyped truth bomb that Brooke had to drop about Nick ‘Honey Badger’ Cummins and his somehow both uneventful and extremely eventful exit from his season.

That truth bomb? Cummins never intended to leave with anyone from the show, which was the revelation that made Brooke depart from the show of her own volition early. You can watch her spill right here:

Crikey!

People reacted in much the fashion that you would expect:

I personally got a wild thrill just from the Christopher Nolan-style ‘bwaaaap’ noises they placed after she said it; amazing production values.