This year’s Bachelor In Paradise season has been dramatic to say the least. But while most viewers would say the most shocking moment was Alex Nation and Richie Strahan‘s intense convo about their break-up, I’m going to shut that down and tell you the true shock of 2019 is this. How – HOW – did all these women overlook the sweet baby angel that is James Threthewie.
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For anyone not familiar (me) with Sophie Monk‘s season of The Bachelorette, James Trethewie, who also goes by that strange nickname Jameses get of “Jimmy” (this makes no sense to me – nicknames are supposed to shorten your name. Who decided this) was a stand-out. I think people actually cried when he was booted by Soph in a shock elimination. I didn’t cry because I didn’t watch Sophie’s season of Bachelorette, but I can tell you I got a bit teary during tonight’s episode, when Jimmy realised Alex Nation wasn’t going to give him a rose.
I probably could have gone without the weird “here’s Mr. Bachie Bear please look after my special little bear” business, but no one is perfect. Jimmy comes damn close though. Here’s why I’m STUNNED none of these “waaah I just want to find a nice man who makes me happy and laughy” women gave him any time.
1. He’s Genuine
Of all the men – hell, all the people in Paradise, James seemed the most genuine. He genuinely didn’t seem to be in it for fame or for the competition vibes – sure, he was pushing his environmental causes (more on that later) but in terms of actually wanting to find love, he was surely one of the only ones there for the right reasons. I’ll give Rachael a pass because I feel like she’s also really, actually looking for love – and maybe Cass.
Considering these women have crowed on at length about how shit their dating life has been, and everyone’s looking for someone “real”… hello? Right here, babes.
2. He’s Laid-Back
Look, laid-back isn’t for everyone but when you’re surrounded by peacockers like Paddy and Bill and so on, wouldn’t you want to go for the refreshingly relaxo guy? I fucking would – I mean that hypothetically as I have a nice laid-back boyfriend already, but if I were single on this island? I’d want the relaxed dude who goes snorkelling in the morning and doesn’t hog the spotlight.
3. He Gives A Shit
About love, as we’ve said. But also about people – and the environment. This guy is basically Captain Planet, OK? First, he totally supported Alex through that Richie debacle, plying her with alcohol (good boy) while helping her drum up the courage to confront her ex. He’s always chatting to people who whinge away at him, and never seems to be bored by it. And then there’s all this WWF stuff he’s pushing – unlike other contestants on reality shows (*cough* Grant on Love Island repping his own brand so hard he basically did an infomercial on it *cough*), Jimmy chose to push ANIMAL RIGHTS and CARING FOR THE ENVIRONMENT. I mean honestly, is this man Baby Jesus?
4. He Was Secretly The Hottest
Bear with me here, because I know everyone thinks Richie is the hottest guy – but think about it. Richie was way hotter when he had the sexy long hair and the beardy thing, right? He’s still a babe but he’s just less of a babe. Not to mention he’s a bit of a giant baby – excuse, you’re a 35 year old man or whatever age you are. You can get up and go say hello to your ex.
Anyway Jimmy was like tanned, and he had gorgeous blue eyes, and such a lovely smile. He was a warm faced delight. Warm faced guys, they are the good ones.
Anyway, there’s no point going on anymore because Jimmy has been booted (well, left on his own accord but for all intents and purposes, basically booted) and none of these sunburnt women have a chance with him now. Here’s hoping he’s snapped up in seconds in the real world – if you see him at some awful D-grade celebrity event, you should hit on him.
Like once though, and if he rejects you just leave him in peace.
