Some time ago, Nick Cummins signed up for a dating show as a sort of last-chance-at-love kind of thing. The promos made us think he was ready for it all – to settle down, have a couple of ankle biters, live on a farm somewhere, all that shit – AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT WE THOUGHT. ‘Cos the Honey Badger – in an Australian TV first – decided to say no to both Sophie and Brittany… because he’s both lost and unable to commit to either woman.

For the full goddamn recap – which is just me crying for 2 hours in writing time – aggressively click on the below.

For the gist of what happened:

Hahahahahaha.

Before we get into the tweets, I can now fully understand why the Badger decided to fuck off to another country. Look at his Instagram comments, just look. 

Alright, straight to it.

You bloody tell ’em Denise. 

Yeah, he is.

And finally:

As the series came to an end Soph posted this statement to her Instagram. 

View this post on Instagram

I’m not entirely sure where to even start… As you are all very aware, I struggle to put into words exactly how I’m feeling which makes this particular post an extremely difficult one to put together. ????????‍♀️ There is no denying that this isn’t the way I hoped my journey would end. I unknowingly reached a point in time where not only could I see a future with Nick, I really wanted it. But in saying that, I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason, and now was not my time. I’m slowly coming to terms with this.. and it’s okay.???? Do I have any regrets? Absolutely not. You guys were only shown such a small part of a very long journey. It was nothing short of an emotional roller coaster. But, overall what an amazing experience I have just been through. The friendships I have made, the personal growth I have experienced – it’s priceless. I want to thank everyone who followed me on my journey and supported me along the way. The amazing bachelorettes, production (stylists, runners, soundies & camera guys), friends, family and the people out there who don’t even know me but continue to keep the vibes positive???? Thank you for sharing what has been a massive part of my life. Sophie xo #WomenSupportingWomen

A post shared by Sophie Tieman ???? (@sophie.tieman) on

ONYA SOPHIE.

Britt posted a statement, too.

View this post on Instagram

‘Wowee.’ Living it the first time was so hard, but reliving it tonight was something else.???? After a very long and incredible journey, I found myself standing at the end with a full heart and excited at the prospect of a happy future with Nick. I believe everything happens for a reason, and by this point I truly believed I was meant to come here and meant to meet Nick. From the very beginning we connected on so many levels, some you saw, and some you unfortunately didn’t. I was in disbelief and thought surely this was the reason I hadn’t met anyone in a long time. But that is not the case. Unfortunately it is not my time.???? I gave it my all and was always true to myself, honest and risked it for the biscuit. I wore my heart on my sleeve and I’m proud of myself for putting myself out there. Whilst this is not my happy ending, I made the most beautiful friends, and I am so grateful to have had Soph there with me at the end. She is truly my rock. I’m leaving with a heavy heart, but I’d like to say to all the girls that I shared this adventure with, thank you for the journey, the laughs and the memories, they will last a lifetime. To all the crew, soundies, cameramen, make up artists, stylists, production, runners, photographers, Osher, all the behind the scenes, you beautiful souls. I saw some of your hearts break when mine did, you know who you are, thank you for treating me so well always, and always making me laugh when I needed it. You made this whole experience that much greater. My family have been my rocks and really helped me through this. It’s been so hard to keep this to ourselves and deal with it on our own. Everyone that ever supported me on this crazy rollercoaster, thank you from the bottom of my broken heart. I love love and I have to believe this is just setting me on the path I’m supposed to be on. You can be sure I’ll keep on searching. Britt ✌???? ???? Xx @thebachelorau #thebachelorau #love #womensupportingwomen

A post shared by Brittany ???? (@brittany_hockley) on

Best of luck to those two legends.

It’s been about an hour, I’ve calmed down… a tad so I’m going to look at this another way.

  1. Vanessa Sunshine coming into our lives would not have happened without this season.
  2. Nick made the right decision for himself.
  3. It was a ~ refreshing ~ ending.
  4. But if he wasn’t ready to settle down, why did he apply? Could’ve just hopped on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here. 
  5. Nah, I take it back. I’m still absolutely QUAKING.

Alright, that’s it for me. Mel and Josie should be back for the all the next Bachie spice.

Have a good one, folks and remember: never corner a Honey Badger.

Image: Network Ten