This fkn adorable dugong at Sea Life Sydney Aquarium reckons he can predict the election and it seems as though Scott Morrison isn’t winning the undersea mammal vote. Though I bet lobsters would vote for him — they have serious Liberal vibes.

The dugong’s formal name is Pig. This is simply the best name for a dugong I have ever heard.

Pig was offered a red bucket and a blue floaty, symbolically representing the Labor and Liberal Parties. I’m mildly disappointed there wasn’t a Greens toy in there as well, and maybe a load of dyed rubber ducks to represent the teal independents.

You know, just to make the dugong-as-election-decider simulation all the more accurate.

According to The Guardian, Pig dove straight for the red bucket. A decisive choice given how tight the election is set to be.

Sydney Aquarium’s senior dugong keeper (literally best job ever) Dayna Plater told The Guardian she’d been expecting the dugong to pick blue ‘cos the team wear blue uniforms.

“He still chose to follow the red bucket down, and put it on his head and wear it as a hat,” she said.

And you know what? He looks bloody fabulous in it.

At the Australian Reptile Park though, an answer simply couldn’t be decided.

Hugo the 71-year-old Galapagos turtle was offered lettuce with the faces of Scott Morrison and Anthony Albanese. His accuracy rate for previous PMs — he’s lived through 16 — has been around 50 per cent, but this year he declined to pick a winner.

I mean TBF, I’d be put off my dinner too.

He was distracted by his girlfriend, which is a big mood.

Maybe this signifies a hung parliament?

Hugo may be the definition of a boomer but IMO romance is keeping him young. His girlfriend Estrella moved all the way from Germany in 2021.

I wonder if they debate about politics over their delicious, romantic lettuce dinners?

The park’s head reptile keeper Jake Meney told The Daily Telegraph that Hugo “doesn’t have the best track record”.

“His accuracy rate is sitting at around 50 per cent and his predictions aren’t always decisive,” he said.

“I guess it’s just too close to call for the election this weekend and Hugo’s chosen love over politics.”

Maybe this is why compulsory voting doesn’t extend to tortoises.

Image: Getty Images / Don Arnold