After an incredibly hectic Saturday night it’s now clear Anthony Albanese and the Labor Party will form government in Australia. But that info is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of election gossip. Strap in, bitches — it’s time to bitch.
Here are the top SIX things you’ve gotta know on Monday so your boss doesn’t think you were just funnelling booze into yourself all weekend. I mean, you were but that’s the point. It’s called *acting*.
1. Scott Morrison got fucken booted. Hard.
It’s no great secret anymore that the Australian public had gotten sick of Scotty.
Morrison conceded the loss late last night and also resigned as leader of The Coalition. He will remain in parliament but will not be leader of his party anymore.
Here’s a collection of all the best reactions to ex-PM Morrison (that feels good to write) taking a big fat L.
2. Anthony Albanese will be the new PM & Australian Labor Party is likely to form a “majority” government.
Labor is tipped to reach the minimum 76 seats (of a total 151) seats necessary to govern in its own right — this is known as a majority.
This means Labor won’t have to rely on support from independents and minor parties such as The Greens when they want to pass new laws.
3. Teal independents beat lots of Liberals in (normally) safe Liberal seats.
Independent candidates such as ex-ABC journo Zoe Daniel, Royal Children’s Hospital Dr Monique Ryan and businesswoman Allegra Spender unseated Liberals in historically safe Liberal seats.
These now-defeated Liberal blokes included Dave Sharma in Wentworth (NSW), Tim Wilson in Goldstein (Vic) and Treasurer Josh Frydenberg in Kooyong (Vic).
These independents became known as the “teal independents” due to the fact they all wore…I feel like you can work it out.
You can read our quick explainer on who exactly they are right here.
4. The Greens have won three (maybe even four) seats.
In addition to Greens leader Adam Bandt holding onto his seat in Melbourne, Queensland Greens made some huge moves.
Greens candidate for the seat of Griffith in Queensland Max Chandler-Mather has claimed the Greens’ first ever win in the electorate. And Elizabeth Watson-Brown just toppled Julian Simmonds‘ safe Liberal seat of Ryan.
The greens could also snap up a fourth seat in Brisbane with candidate Stephen Bates looking strong.
5. The United Australia Party’s Craig Kelly got thrashed.
“The future Prime Minister of Australia” will unsurprisingly not be the PM no matter what Clive Palmer‘s ads say.
This was an incredibly satisfying result for many people who have been personally victimised by Kelly‘s annoying spam texts for years.
A win for society!
6. Anthony Albanese made it clear he wants to get cracking on Indigenous policy.
In his acceptance speech, Albanese said “on behalf of the Australian Labor Party, I commit to the Uluru Statement from the Heart in full.”
The Uluru Statement was created and signed by more than 250 First Nations delegates in 2017 and called for the “establishment of a First Nations Voice enshrined in the Constitution”.
This would be a welcome move after years of Liberal handbrakes.
You can read more about the Labor Party’s plans for Indigenous Australians here.
For a big ol’ recap of the entire night’s events, you can read back through our live blog here.
For Anthony Albanese’s celebration speech, suss this link.
For all our election coverage in one place including other reaction collections, crack open this badboy.
