Welcome to another PTV election recap. We’re sharing the load around so the state of our so-called democracy doesn’t send someone mad. It’s a workplace health and safety issue.
Here’s the stuff you need to know from this week:
Albo has COVID
Yep the man of the hour (six weeks?) has the ‘rona. Incredibly inopportune timing, bud. Albo is out for seven days from Thursday, so he’ll be back on the trail soon.
Labor will be hoping this isn’t too disruptive, but it came right after some of Albo’s first positive press off the campaign, being:
Hardly anyone could watch it, because it was on Sky. On Foxtel. Who even still has that? So weird.
Albo won, which is surprising because he’s boring but it seems like his new strategy is yelling. Obviously this won the Sky crowd in Brisbane over.
Also led to this ultra-weird video:
this is a real, authorised video from Labor pic.twitter.com/lhK3rht4V6
— Leonardo Puglisi (@Leo_Puglisi6) April 21, 2022
What the fuck is wrong with Labor.
Speaking of which:
Labor is fully committed to torturing refugees
Because Albo said some weird and borderline unintelligible shit about boat turnbacks in the debate, the Labor Twitter had to clarify their position with this tweet.
Let’s be clear: if you attempt to come to Australia by boat, you will not make it
Labor supports OSB– offshore processing, regional resettlement & boat turn-backs where safe to do so, but for years Labor has warned Mr Morrison has put border protection on ‘set and forget’ mode
— Australian Labor (@AustralianLabor) April 20, 2022
It did not go down well.
— Tiger Webb (@tfswebb) April 21, 2022
“Offshore processing destroyed our lives. Many friends lost their lives. I myself tried to kill myself twice.”
“Australia doesn’t treat me like a human. It’s not right to treat anyone like this.”
— Benjamin Law 羅旭能 (@mrbenjaminlaw) April 20, 2022
Ratio + L + You fell off + etc.
Whoopsie! Scooter did some ableism
Scott Morrison said he was “blessed” not to have disabled kids during the debate. A widdle fucky-wucky.
Scooter keeps leaking his texts
So weird how texts sent to Scott Morrison keep ending up in the media. How could that possibly happen? Oh well, moving on.
This time it was texts which showed NSW Premier daddy Dommie showing support for Scooter’s completely fucked comments on trans people. Might make it a bit awkward with Treasurer Matt Kean, hey?
The government dropped the ball in the pacific
There is also some contention about whether or not it allows China to build a base in the islands, or if they even would. I’m sorry dear reader, there is no conclusive answer to this question as of yet.
Anyway — as it turns out, China has been trying to win them over for years. So why haven’t we done anything about it? Unclear.
Adam Bandt wants you to think he got stoned
No way to tell if he is actually baked here, but Adam dropped this tweet on 4:20 pm on 4/20.
How good are kebabs?
Also, happy 420. pic.twitter.com/dxCebt7Ium
— Adam Bandt (@AdamBandt) April 20, 2022
If it were me, I’d have picked up a HSP.
UAP Punching bag
Not sure what’s happening here but I would love to punch every Clive Palmer ad I see, but that would mean I’d fuck up my brand-new TV. So I might make a trip to Vic Park soon.
And that’s it for the week. See you next election recap for more depressing bullshit from our politicians.