I hope everyone had a lovely phone-free long weekend because we’re here to bring you right back to reality with a federal election recap of everything you missed on the campaign trail on your days off.

Yep, the election campaign rests for no man, not even one who died for our sins. Anthony Albanese and Scott Morrison were busy little bees at the Easter break and, like every other day in the election campaign so far, a lot of shit went down.

We’re barely a week into this darn thing and the spicy/stupid/horrifying moments keep on coming.

Transphobia update

Picking up right where we left off, Morrison is still a transphobe and is keeping other transphobes in his tent.

Emails regarding the Liberal candidate for Warringa (Tony Abbot’s old electorate) Katherine Deves, known transphobe who called trans people “surgically mutilated” in 2021, were leaked last week and suggested Morrison was facing a shitload of internal pressure to dump her and endorse someone less bigoted.

“Presidents and many members are calling for Ms Deves resignation in light of her hurtful and divisive comments that have proliferated the media,” one Liberal Party branch president wrote.

On top of these leaks loads more fucked comments from Deves surfaced last week, including a time she allegedly said trans women were indulging in “womanface”. Fuck off.

But Morrison rejected calls to disendorse Deves at the weekend and said he wouldn’t bow to pressure ‘cos hey, she apologised! And transphobia seems to be playing well for him in this fucked colony.

“I think it’s really important that she has withdrawn those comments, and she has acknowledged they’ve been insensitive,” he said on Easter Saturday.

“I think that is the right way to respect the trans community. I don’t share those sentiment either.”

On Tuesday Morrison defended her again and called the public attention a “pile on”

“I’m not going to allow her to be silenced, I’m not going to allow her to be pushed aside as the pile on comes in to try and silence her,’’ he said.

“I will stand up with her, my team is standing up with her and we will make sure that she won’t be silenced.”

Again, fuck off.

Gaffes!

After the Murdoch media and the silent Australians came out of their dens to rip Albanese limb from limb for forgetting Australia’s exact unemployment rate figure, we just love to see how everyone conveniently ignores all of Morrison’s similar fuck-ups.

Last week he was rambling about how great his government was for when it increased Jobseeker by an absolute pittance.

“As you know we increased [JobSeeker] from 40 bucks a week to 46 bucks a week since the last election,” he said.

Umm, the JobSeeker payment is $46 dollars per day, not per week and what’s that about being out of touch? Have you figured out how much bread and milk cost yet?

Another journo followed up later that day and asked if he knew the JobSeeker rate and he got it right. He later said he simply misspoke earlier.

The next gaffe came on Easter Sunday when he repeatedly called journalists “Mr Speaker” like pollies do in parliament. It was very funny and kind of disturbing to see him in full android mode tbh. Watch it here.

No-mask Morrison

Morrison visited to the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne on Good Friday to touch and breathe all over sick children without a mask. It was shocking and selfish and we’re endlessly disgusted by this man’s thirst for a good photo op above all else. Albanese also visited an aged care residence on Good Friday and wow, he managed to cover his pie hole as per state law.

If you’re unmasked, please step away from the sick children.

Labor backed coal

Well fuck, I guess we’re screwed. Labor dashed our last shred of hope on Easter Monday and announced it would support the construction of new coal mines in future. This means Labor’s stance on coal matches the Coalition’s.

Albanese said the move was in support of workers and true to Labor’s ethos but not at the expense of the climate.

“If coal mines stack up environmentally and then commercially, which is the decision for the companies, then they get approved,” he said on Easter Monday.

“Labor would welcome any jobs that would be created from that.”

But yeah, we know that new coal mines ≠ limiting global heating to 1.5ºC as required for us to avoid the most catastrophic effects of climate change.

Labor pledged NDIS overhaul

On the lighter side, Labor promised a massive review of the National Disability Insurance Scheme, created by the Gillard government in 2012, to ensure it delivered better services to more than 500,000 people. If elected it committed to a $30.8 billion investment to ensure money and time were no longer wasted before getting people the support they needed.

Labor’s disability services spokesman Bill Shorten announced the plan on Tuesday and said the review would come next year.

“The biggest threat to the scheme is a lack of trust — you are either a participant who’s had your funding cut in the last two years or you are up at midnight worrying that your funding will be cut in the next couple of years.”

Hecklers be heckling

Both Morrison and Albanese got their fair shares of public embarrassments at the weekend.

Morrison was greeted by a couple of protestors dressed as cavemen at a Perth Bunnings on Easter Monday — an apparent reference to the time he likened Western Australians to cave people in August last year.

The three men said nothing but “ooga booga” but nodded when asked if they’d prefer Albanese as PM. What a time to be alive.

Morrison also had a run-in with a pretty dissatisfied guy at the Easter Show. Content warning: homophobic slurs were used.

Albanese was booed when he came on stage at Byron Bay’s Bluesfest to briefly introduce Jimmy Barnes. Not everyone was booing and there were cheers too but it was pretty awkward.

Next election recap?

All in all it was a very eventful weekend and unfortunately Labor has been the victim, copping another slip in the polls.

There’ll no doubt be much more cookery to come this week so follow along with us.