There are few incontrovertible facts in life, but one thing that has always been and will always be true is that Zendaya is Meechee, and LeBron James is Gwangi. Danny DeVito is Dorgle, ooohh, Common is Stonekeeper.

And Zendaya is Meechee.

Gina Rodriguez is Kolka.

And Zendaya. Is. Meechee.

Way back in 2018, comedian and Vine star Gabriel Gundacker had a viral hit with his song about the ridiculously-named characters from the kids’ movie Smallfoot. I have not known a moment’s peace since the tune came out all those years ago.

It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep at night. To paraphrase Sean Kingston, Meechee’s like a melody in my head that I can’t keep out – no, scratch that, Meechee’s literally a melody in my head that I can’t keep out.

Zendaya herself loved the song, praising Gundacker for the fact that he even managed to say her name correctly. One Twitter user observed that, at one point in 2018, the video had 4.7 million views but only 109K likes, leading to the conclusion that everyone who liked it it has watched it at least 43 times, which tracks.

I sing Gundacker’s song quietly under my breath approximately 43 times a day. The words Zendaya is Meechee will one day be carved on my tombstone.

That’s it, that’s the article, I just wanted to get that out. Thank you for listening.