If you’re not on Twitter, then I feel sorry for you (actually, I don’t it’s a terrible place, don’t ever go there). BUT it means that you don’t get to see the fantastic threads from former editor of The Toast, Nicole Cliffe – where she asks her followers a simple question and gets inundated with the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever read.
Today, she’s asked her followers what the worst thing they’ve ever eaten is. The only rule is that it can’t be a dish that is meant to be food/a delicacy (like Balut, a Philippino street food that’s literally a baby chick embryo boiled inside the shell and eaten) but actual legit grot, rank, fucked up shit that people have put in their gobs – either by accident or without their knowledge.
https://twitter.com/Nicole_Cliffe/status/973321161655205888
Now I must warn you, these responses…they’re fucking gross. There’s no other way to put it. If you thought “oh well it’s probably just people accidentally eating shit” well you’d be correct but also that is just the START of all the horrific junk that people have unfortunately brought into contact with their tastebuds.
Proceed with caution, and maybe a strong stomach.
https://twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/973337942914752512
Phwoar, no thanks.
Wow. Okay. I haven’t told this story outside of friends/family. We had a puppy. We were in the house making s’mores over the fireplace. It was dark. I dropped my chocolate. What I picked up and put in my mouth was not chocolate. It was dog poop.
— Sarah (@TheTennisstorm) March 12, 2018
The chocolate in s’mores is gooey too, EURGK NO THANK.
https://twitter.com/bess_p_hamilton/status/973322875347394561
Sweet jesus are you trying to kill everyone, Sharon???
My older brother thought it would be funny to bring me a “banana smoothie” when I was in bed with a stunning hangover. Took me half a gulp to realise he’s substituted banana for canned tuna
— Jenny Noyes (@jennynoise) March 12, 2018
Hangovers are a delicate, terrible time. Drinking a tuna smoothie at the best of times would make me blow chunks. Jesus christ.
OH NO WAIT. Scratch that. One time, in college, I made instant oatmeal in the microwave using water from a Dasani bottle in my fridge. Except it was vodka.
— Seyward Darby (@seywarddarby) March 12, 2018
WHAT.
https://twitter.com/ltoiaivao/status/973337007018528768
“…and it was the worst 10th birthday ever.”
https://twitter.com/LdyGray/status/973332103139090432
I mean you *think* this one’s bad and then it just…keeps getting worse?
One night I brought home a drive-thru MacDonalds sundae for my partner & put it on the ground for a moment while I opened the gate in the dark, then picked it up & licked what I thought was a dribble of chocolate sauce off the lid.
IT WAS A SLUG.— Kate James (@katejames) March 12, 2018
AHHH NO NO NO NO.
https://twitter.com/ghostbatcomix/status/973324261514412032
This has straight-up made my eyes water.
https://twitter.com/Emilygoestocamp/status/973331051908038656
I don’t think I like the direction that Pop Tarts have gone in, tbh.
https://twitter.com/friggin_rad/status/973321763307360257
UGH NO. Fuck to durians. Fuck to the bad-smelling spiky fruit that I hate so much. They should be abolished.
Airport hotdog that included a tooth inside. Origin and species unknown.
— Bowman (@bowman) March 12, 2018
Wow. No. Just…no.
Anyway, I’m feeling like I’m about to die from trawling through all of these responses.
I can’t even think of the worst thing I’ve ever eaten. Was it dry cat food/kibble when I was a three-year-old? Or was it the cheese and strawberry jam sandwiches my dad used to give me for packed lunch at school which as resulted in me not being able to have butter with ANY sweet spreads?
Good grief, how are we not all dead from accidentally poisoning ourselves, that’s what I wanna know.
