The resurrection of Tupac inspired the task we’ve assigned to the Tech + Media + Culture finalists in the 2012 Ultrabook Blogster Awards: Who would you like to see brought back as a hologram? We put the question to the 20 finalists demanding absolute transparency. Sorry. Read their entertaining, revealing and rather amusing answers below, then vote for your favourite. Includes multiple references to Jesus and, believe it or not, three separate references to Meat Loaf (in its various forms).
SUBMITTED BY GONG 101:
I would like to see Andy Warhol brought back as a hologram simply for personal satisfaction.
I am a huge fan of Andy Warhol, not only his creative art but also for his business mind and creating ‘Art Business’. A lot of my business endeavours are born due to the inspiration I take from Andy and the handwork he put into building his empire.
From Art, film, music, publication, culture to business, Andy is still a force to be recon with and no other artist has came close to what he had accomplished throughout his life and work.
“Self-Portrait” by Andy Warhol, photo by Emmanuel Dunand, Getty Images
SUBMITTED BY THEME FOR GREAT CITIES:
The past year has been cruel to music — so much talent gone too soon. Of all our losses, Amy Winehouse‘s is particular poignant. Whitney Houston, Donna Summer, Robin Gibb, Adam “MCA” Yauch all had their day, but Winehouse’s was just beginning when she died last 23 July from alcohol abuse.
Back to Black, her 2006 second album, will go down as one of the boldest musical statements of this century, but it only nicked the surface of a formidable talent that could have gone in any direction. Had she lived, Winehouse could even have replaced Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes’ in TLC, so that T-Boz and Chili wouldn’t have to tour with a Left Eye hologram.
If Winehouse could come back as a hologram herself, she’d probably want to redo those aborted dates on her disastrous final European tour, the ones where she could barely stand upright, let alone belt out the lyrics to “You Know I’m No Good.” Those disappointed fans deserve to see and hear “You Know I’m No Good” sung right.
But here’s an even hotter ticket: TLC ditches the Left Eye hologram and tours with a resurrected Winehouse instead. A mash-up of “Rehab” and “Waterfalls.”
Photo by Graham Denholm, Getty Images
SUBMITTED BY GEEKOSITY:
Space might be really, really big, but death lasts for infinity and that’s a really, really long time. You might think it takes a long time for the waiter to catch your eye when you desperately need a refill, but that’s nothing compared to infinity.
Few people appreciated the enormity of space better than Douglas Adams [author of “Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy”] and since he’s currently doing hard time in infinity, I’d love to bring him back as a hologram. Douglas could seize the opportunity to inform all assembled that, rather than joining some celestial holiday park full of toupee-wearing American evangelists, he’d merely re-entered the same black nothing from which he was born. And now he was back. Froody.
Douglas was someone who cared about our planet and found great wonder in it. He was an awesome advocate for Earth and all of its endangered creatures, including we humans. Returned from the grave in funky digital form, he could take up the fight once more. He could waft through the walls of government buildings and chastise ‘the man’ without fear of being silenced. Alternatively he could simply surprise Vladimir Putin when he was on the toilet. Either prospect is greatly appealing.
Image by Dan Callister, Getty Images
SUBMITTED BY THE 5 TO 9 LIFE:
The identity of fallen acts characterised by their enigmatic and once-in-a-lifetime performances is one of the most exciting gifts holograms could offer. Reliving the talent, individuality and seamless mannerisms of artists we weren’t able to experience is a new appeal audiences can look forward to.
The energy we experience when artists perform is essentially why we are there. Our love for their music is preceded by the precision we desire in live performances. Holograms can provide such adjustments.
Freddie Mercury is one such artist that instills such joy. A voice that can send a message that tingles from one’s spine and ends in one’s new found respect to such a unique performer is why Queen is an ideal candidate. We have all seen Queen’s 1985 Live Aid performance and it is something we can all appreciate as an exceptional performance of refined musical talent, therefore he should be the next hologram.
We are on the cusp of a breakthrough where human experience can be recaptured and repackaged as a memory we thought we could never recreate. This idea will not only help music lovers but also advertisers and charity organisers to rally a new generation of misguided music enthusiasts.
Image by AFP
SUBMITTED BY JESUS WAS A ROAD RUNNER:
Talking to Jesus, now that would be awesome.
I envisage the conversations to go a little like this;
Me: Hey man, how’s it going?
Jesus: Pretty good thanks. It’s great to finally meet the man behind the blog.
Me: Enough about me JC, we’ll get on to that later. I’ve got a couple of questions for you.
Jesus: Go on…
Me: Walking on water, any hints?
Jesus: Huddle in… (*he explains*)
Me: Brilliant, I’ll be using that one! Secondly, if the Bible were written today in 2012, would you amend anything? Oh, and if you could marry one celebrity, who would it be?
Of course, I’d ask lots more intellectual questions regarding controversial subjects like same sex marriage, evolution and the like – but for beginners, I’d start with the aforementioned.
What’s more, there are over a million visual representations of the great man. Yet, nobody truly knows what JC looks like. Hallelujah for the hologram!
Ted Neeley as Jesus in the film Jesus Christ Superstar (1970)
SUBMITTED BY BOBBY MAY:
Holograms shouldn’t just be restricted to dead recording artists.
I made the mistake of seeing rock legend Meat Loaf in October last year. His performance was so awful that I watched most of the show through the gaps between my fingers. I know he’s an old guy, but I didn’t think I paid $120 to watch him stumble onstage, sit down, and ruin his own songs.
He did two minutes of “Bat Out Of Hell” before he put the microphone down and told his band he couldn’t be bothered doing the rest of the song.
Musicians who are well past their prime, like Meat Loaf, could be replaced with their own holograms. Meat Loaf’s hologram could re-educate him on how to perform standing up, as well as how to finish his own songs.
We’re wasting our time resurrecting the dead with holograms. Let’s replace the living.
Photo by Mark Dadswell, Getty Images
SUBMITTED BY YOUR FRIEND’S HOUSE:
Barry White was a sure bet for us. I mean, who doesn’t love Barry White? Even in holographic form, his soothing sounds could instantly rekindle a substantialamount of failing marriages, something that wouldn’t go astray with the divorce rate hovering around 50%.
Unfortunately however, after plenty of thought, we came to the conclusion it wasn’t financially viable. It cost a reported $100,000 US dollars to power the 5’11” slender frame of Tupac, so parading the notoriously
heavy-set 6’4” Barry White around while he serenaded modern folk was going to be an undoubtedly pricey affair – even if it prevented a few.
We then decided on Jesus, a clear alternative to Mr White. Not only would he sell tickets like a Bieber and One Direction collaborative gig, but he’d double as the caterer. As everyone got down to his testament readings and enlightening statements, they could feast on holographic bread and knock back a few glasses of holographic wine. It’s a win-win for everybody really.
That’s 2 votes for Jesus:
SUBMITTED BY TV TONIGHT
Bring back Kerry Packer as a hologram so he can show a few TV executives how to run their network.
Kerry Packer loved TV and we loved him for it. Under his rule Channel Nine reigned supreme with unbeatable ratings. Live TV was electric, stars were cherished, Current Affairs were hard-hitting and reputations lived and died on a network’s news. If Kerry didn’t like something he’d ring up and bark at someone to “get that shit off the air!”
Nowadays networks care more about shareholders and equity groups than the audience. Their shows never start on time, and they dump programmes without warning. Current Affairs is a race to the bottom with tabloid stories, supermarket wars, parking fines and cross-promotion. News has become a watermark war about who-has-what first. Packer knew the value of audience loyalty, keeping his stars close and spending money to make money.
I guess without a hologram we’ll have to settle for Paper Giants‘ Rob Carlton, or Lachy Hulme in Nine’s upcoming Howzat! miniseries.
But if I had a dollar for every time I thought about ringing up and saying “Get this shit off the air!” I could have probably bought the network by now.
Photo by Patrick Riviere, Getty Images
SUBMITTED BY REALLY REALLY REALLY TRYING:
I would like to see Vincent Van Gogh brought back as a hologram so he could call out all the fake-ass players who wouldn’t buy his paintings while he was still alive and also so we could get a real good look at what a dude who chopped his own ear off looks like. WTF is with that. Chopping your own ear off? Gross.
Vincent van Gogh “Self portrait with bandaged ear” (1899)
SUBMITTED BY ALOUD:
“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” – Coco Chanel
Chanel’s words resonated deeply with me when formulating the ideas for a blog highlighting the work and life of creative women.
Ready to start forging my own path, I found myself full of questions and it only took a moment to realise that I was surrounded by inspiring women who were – just like Chanel in her time – walking to the beat of their own drum.
The women I met have based their life and work precisely on the ability to “think for themselves” but working independently, in any field, can sometimes feel like a lonely pursuit.
Aloud creates a framework where we can talk about dreams and success, alongside fears and regrets. We acknowledge mistakes and we learn to move on. We say that it is fun, wonderful and incredibly scary to follow our dreams but above all, we do it aloud.
Coco Chanel said that the most courageous act is to think for yourself, aloud. If she came back as a hologram, I would tell her that it is also the most generous act; for giving oneself permission to follow one’s dreams, means others can feel free to follow theirs.
Photo by STF, AFP
SUBMITTED BY HANNAH AND ELISE:
My reaction to the Tupac hologram at this year’s Coachella festival was less than enthusiastic. For someone raised on Phillip K. Dick-style technological dystopias, the chills the Tupac hologram sent down my spine were less of awe and more of sheer, unadulterated terror.
That said, I feel like there’s one guy who could return as a hologram who I would be nothing but content with. That guy is Carl Sagan.
Carl Sagan popularised science in the ’80s like nobody’s business; no one has ever captured the imaginations of so many children and adults and held their attention for so long before or since.
Today, science is often brandished over the heads of the under-educated and used as a means to mock – especially where religion is concerned. The discrepancy between science, particularly astronomy, and religion was something Carl Sagan didn’t believe in, didn’t even consider relevant to the discussion. He didn’t patronise, and he didn’t preach. He democratised science and championed a questioning mind, no matter where the questions led.
The reason I would like to see Carl Sagan return as a hologram in 2012 is simple: we still need him. There’s so much animosity and black and white demonising when it comes to science and religion. 200 words is a shallow limit for such a discussion, but basically we need Carl because we need to forget about the “versus”, the “us against them”. Such tribal attitudes help nothing, and nobody.
Carl Sagan on nuclear self-destruction:
SUBMITTED BY ALL REDDY!:
It was a very sad day on May 25, 1983, as this was the day we lost one of our finest heroes. Perhaps our truest idol. And one of the best slugs to ever grace the planet of Tatooine.
Jabba the Hut, in our eyes, would be the only choice for hologram comeback status. It has been a sadder universe ever since that horrible day when Princess “fuckin winey bitch” Leia strangled his royal slugness to death with little reason other than pure inbred-selfishness.
We ask you, is there anyone else you’d rather see on stage at Coachella next year? No.
Just picture this:
One side of the stage is holo-Jabba, the other is Meat Loaf on a grand piano, and both of them are smashing out the most epic duet rendition of “I Would Do Anything For Love” that anyone has ever heard.
We implore you to visualise that duo of chubsters creating epic-Coachella-hologram-ballad history and keep a dry eye.
We’ll leave it there, as our tears etc. have made a mess on the desk and we need to go have a nap to calm the fuck down…
SUBMITTED BY THE SCENERY:
Who would I like to see brought back as a hologram? I guess one must look at the benefits to humanity as a whole. For example, if he had a hard light John Candy hologram in every household kitchen, that’s five premium steaks per day that could be ground into the perfect minced meat. We’re talking burgers, bolognese, meat loaf etc., all at the push of a Candy.
If we’re talking pure entertainment here though, who better to bring back then Lee Marvin for his nonstop date stage adaption of Paint Your Wagon. The negative side of this would of course be the litres of whiskey that would simply go to waste as the tireless Lee Marvin swigged and swigged, aiming for but never achieving that numbing nirvana.
In the wake of post-Tupac hip hop hologramising why not bring back all the greats starting with MC Hammer, he’s dead right?
In all seriousness though, what we must do is bring back Jesus, Mohammed, Siddhrtha Gautama, Joseph Smith and Elron Hubbard in a TV talk show like format. First we warm them up with a little Sally Jessy, maybe wake Donahue up from his alcoholic coma. Then we sick Jerry Springer and Maury Povich on to them in a win win situation where we learn the dirt, and then Jerry and Maury are cast the depths of many hells.
Who do you want to see resurrected via hologram?