Which Of Nine’s New Dating Shows Sounds Crazier?

Coming soon to Channel Nine are two of the weirdest fucking dating shows you’ve never heard of but only one of them can be the craziest. Which one will it be? Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get reeeaaaadddyyyy to ruuuummmbbbllleeee!!!!

In the blue corner we have Married At First Sight armed with a patently ridiculous premise which sounds like the kind of suggestion that would emerge if you gave a room full of six year olds jacked up on red cordial sixty seconds to give you an original dating show concept. Here’s how it works: a group of leading relationship experts consult the compatibility matrix and match-make eight Australian singles into four couples who then meet for the first time when they marry each other at a mass (fake???) wedding. We then follow each of the newlyweds over a three month period where they behave, function and live as a legitimate married couple would. They go on a honeymoon, meet the in-laws and set up their home together, all the while getting to know every little thing that pisses them off about their stupid fucking sham spouse and having decreasingly less sex and increasingly frequent fights about who gets control of the television remote. Who will stick together and who will decide to divorce? Are these marriages legal? Is terrible casting a legitimate reason to divorce somebody? This all sounds super crazy to everyone, yes?

In the red corner we have When Love Comes To Town which follows twelve city-dwelling single ladies “who have been unlucky in love” but have an inkling that the most viable way to correct that is by agreeing to star in a travelling reality dating show called When Love Comes To Town. The premise is simple: the twelve single girls board a bus delivering them to the earnest eligible bachelors of some of the most remote and picturesque towns in Australia. While dating these guys, the contestants will learn about their lives, passions, their community, meet the bachelors’ friends and families, and spend time in what could be their new home before deciding whether or not they want to stay in town and pursue a relationship, or board the bus again and try to find love in the next town.

Also very cray-cray. Not in the same way that Married At First Sight sounds cray-cray but at least those couples have been matched by a love expert and not haphazardly brought together because one happened to be on The Great D Crawl of 2014 and the other happened to be lonely country boy from Albury Wodonga.

So we put it to you, dear reader: which of these two sounds crazier to you? We only have room for one super crazy dating show in our lives next year and we really want to make sure it’s the craziest.