More like what can’t we learn from Mad Men’s Hawaiian Beach Set Photos amirite? The Internet is abuzz today with images of Mad Men’s leading man Jon Draper/Don Hamm and bilingual gap-toothed subject of misdirected Internet vitriol*, Megan Draper/Jessica Paré in varying states of undress on a beach in Hawaii, where the two may or may not be filming the opening episodes of the show’s sixth season.
In the photos – which you can see below and in their extended glory here – Don and Megan appear to have cleared the bar (literally) we were left with at the end of an Emmy-less season five and have absconded to Hawaii for a number of reasons – ten of which are currently up for speculation, including:
1. They’re in Hawaii because Megan has landed a role on Hawaii Five-0, which started shooting in 1968, one year after Season Five finished in the spring of 1967.
2. They’re in Hawaii as part of a (futile) attempt to save their obviously unhappy marriage. Obvs:
3. They’re in Hawaii because Don needs to work on his tan lines.
4. They’re in Hawaii because Don needs to work on his arms, apparently.
5. They’re actually in Hawaii for a military wedding. The bride and groom are a figment of Don’s Korean War nightmares. That, or Sally needs to stop eating factory farmed chicken.
6. They’re in Hawaii because Megan is celebrating not being in her third trimester and is the only person who looks good in a kaftan.
7. They’re in Hawaii because Don needs to catch up on reading Dante’s Inferno (hellish foreshadowing?!) for the new SCDP book club, Subtle Sundays.
8. They’re in Hawaii because Janie Bryant is doing too good a job costuming the show, so she needed an excuse to put Hamm in those sunglasses, and take herself down a notch.
9. They’re in Hawaii because Don only sees Hawaiian dentists/Megan has been signed as the face of Blue Curacao.
10. They’re in Hawaii because the photos are just an elaborate ruse designed to throw viewers off the scent of season six’s actual premiere plot-lines, which will actually come to revolve around Joan Holloway née Harris’ barely contained fury when Pete Campbell calls the new office space “full-figured” and its view “inspiring”.
Bonus: Don’s in Hawaii because YOLT.
Refresh your Blue Curacao memories below.