The idea of finding ‘The One’ and living happily ever after with them has literally been fed to us in every which way since we were kids. Every song, movie, TV show and toilet paper ad has managed to thrive off the trope for yonks, and why? Because it is the ~simplest~ formula to guarantee tugged heartstrings.
I’m literally crying, brb ^^
But, like most aspects of relationships, it’s not as black and white as Disney movies may have painted it out to be IRL. Monogamy is what we’ve been taught – so, does it really exist or work, or, is it just a standard that we try to live up to in the hopes it does turn into a fairytale-esque story? Well, If I’ve got your gears grinding, I have got the show for you.
Based on the classic novel, Brave New World (every ep is now streaming, only on Stan) tackles the idea of a utopian society that has been achieved through the prohibition of monogamy, money, history and family – the exact foundations our society is literally built on. Sounds like a rip-roaring scandal if you ask me.
So, to dive into the topic, we threw it out to a bunch of people and asked them whether they thought the whole concept of monogamy was a load of BS.
Strictly Poly
“I’m polyam, my current partner lives with his long-term girlfriend, but I wasn’t always. My last relationship was 9 years and monogamous. I’d always had very liberal thoughts regarding sex and the concept of cheating and never felt 100% fulfilled or able to 100% fulfil my partner’s emotional needs whilst in mono relationships.”
“It was only after we split and I started exploring polyam I was able to put my finger on why. For me, believing that I could fill every need my partner has puts a lot of expectation and burden on me, and vice versa.”
“It’s unrealistic and can lead to resentment and feelings of ‘parenting’ rather than ‘partnering’ when one of you is giving more than they’re receiving. With polyam, the load is shared, for want of a better description. Besides, who am I to determine how much love my partner can put out in the world, and how much they can get back? Who are they to determine my capacity? I think they’re amazing, and wouldn’t be dating them if I didn’t, why wouldn’t I want other people to experience that as well?” – Sam
“I don’t think the concept of finding the ‘one’ person that’s right for you truly exists. At least for some people. I just think it’s scientifically and factually incorrect, and definitely something we’ve romanticised over time. I think more people are adopting polyamory as a means of breaking free from that idea, which is ultimately better for your own self-worth.” – George
“We’re partner bonding creatures, but historically we’re not sexually monogamous. Any anthropological study will show that humans cheat, have multiple partners, even parts of Europe it’s just in the culture that men have mistresses and women have boyfriends, and it’s just kind of unspoken.” – Pablo
The One-And-Onlys
“Monogamy is more about my own insecurities more than anything, and I’m actually a bit jealous of those who are comfortable sharing partners. It’s not about possession and control, and it’s about me not feeling good enough if they have to seek out something from someone else, that I clearly can’t provide.” – Mandy
“I believe that a lot of people align monogamy with the idea that everyone has that one true love, and once they find them, everything will be all sunshine and rainbows. I’ve come to understand that isn’t true, even when you’re with the person you love more than anything else in the world, you go through hard times, you fight, you may not like each other all the time.”
“But the difference is whether you’re willing to fight to work through the problems. At the end of the day, that’s all I think monogamy is, two people, saying “yeah you piss me off sometimes, but there’s no one else I’d prefer to be angry with than you”. – Tay
Somewhere In Between
“I believe in monogamy wholeheartedly but can respect people’s decisions not to follow the lifestyle/choice. Call me old fashioned OR call me a jealous bitch, but I want my partner to be ~mine~ and only mine (and I type this with love, and not as a controlling person!).”
“It’s worth noting, I don’t really believe in the concept of marriage as the whole pen and paper, a church wedding is a bit too religious for me, so when I think of monogamy, it’s more about bonding and committing to one person and one person only in a deeply physical, emotional, and spiritual sense. I can see why a polygamous relationship might be preferable to some, but it’s a no from me. But who knows, maybe I’ll get to 50 and wanna swing.” – Jess
“My personal belief isn’t necessarily strictly for or against monogamy. I think people and interpersonal dynamics are complex and varied, and with 7 billion people in the world trying to say any one-type of relationship is right or wrong sets people up for failure.
As long as all parties are consenting then have whatever relationship works for you – monogamous, open, poly. The issue is more societal pressures to fit one mould that doesn’t work for people, and then people being unhappy or cheating in their efforts to fit that, we need to be more accepting and understanding of different relationship structures.” – Betty
You can suss out the trailer for Brave New World below and catch a glimpse of the drama:
You can watch every episode of Brave New World now, only on Stan.
