The show experiment has drawn to a close, with the three couples who managed to survive the show experiment right up until the end forced to decide whether they really want to stay together “forever” – a word which here means “until things fall apart like every single relationship because love isn’t real”.
As a devoted watcher of the show, you know that Andy and Craig departed on genteel, amicable terms after they decided they wanted to different things from each other; while Jess and Dave parted ways very messily because Dave wasn’t super into it and decided the best way to express this was to turn into an uncommunicative asshole.
While Bella and Michael had some doubts raised by Bella‘s reticence to live together and Mark and Monica had some doubts because, like everyone alive, Michael could only express his sincerely lovely feelings by being sarcastic all the times, it was pretty obvious the sex was too good for either of the couples to really say goodbye to each other, and they ultimately gave each other the big tick.
No, the real cliffhanger fell on Keller and Nicole, who had been on the rocks since Keller got wine-drunk and decided it would be a fun and hilarious idea to be a sexist dickhead to Bella. He cleverly decided to follow up that deadshit act by getting white girl wasted with his Navy mates and waking up with a tattoo he didn’t even remember getting. Excellent work all round.
Keller was as nervous as a Pope in a strip club when it came time to see if he was getting the boot or not, and I’d be huge stacks of money that the show deliberately opted not to do his makeup to make him look even more distressed because, hoo boy, he does not look well.
The juiciest part of this is Nicole absolutely destroying Keller as a human being with some very carefully chosen wording at the end, absolutely phenomenal effort:
Yay! They’re still together! That’s great etc etc, now watch Keller try and detox a profound and unbelievable moment of heartbreak out of his system:
We might know the result of the show but now the fun really begins: invading their personal lives to find out who actually works out as a couple, hooray!
Source and photo: Channel 9.
