My First BDSM Experience™ a.k.a. the ‘Fifty Shades‘ series has copped yet another trailer ft. the unfairly good work of top quality musical artists.
This time, it’s the latest ‘Fifty Shades Darker‘ trailer set to the indescribably cheesy Taylor Swift / Zayn Malik track ‘I Don’t Wanna Live Forever‘ (written for the film), and yes – it does feature that elevator finger-banging scene we were all about in the last trailer.
The first film – the one that played fuggen’ jump-rope with the line between ‘kink between two consenting adults’ and ‘abuse’ – left off with Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) leaving Christian Grey‘s (Jamie Dornan) manipulative ass behind. But that’s not much of a story.
‘Fifty Shades Darker’ puts Christian and Ana back together in about a nanosecond, and then follows their relationship as they navigate ex-girlfriends, ex-mistresses, predatory bosses and some scene involving a superyacht through the prisms of copious amounts of banging.
From memory (yes, I read them, and if you claim you didn’t you’re lying), the middle book of this series was actually the highlight of the three, so this movie… might not be the worst?
Joining Dornan and Johnson in this non-stop shag-a-thon are Kim Basinger (playing Christian’s ex-mistress), Luke Grimes, Marcia Gay Harden, Rita Ora, Hugh Dancy and former Ramsey Street resident Bella Heathcote (yeah the Aussies), so the cast is wide and varied even if the sex just… isn’t.
Fifty Shades Darker hits cinemas February 10, 2016.
Photo: Supplied.
