WATCH: ‘Married’ Nearly Comes To Blows When Keller Gets Slut-Shamey

This show is absolutely, 100%, no doubt, engineered in a lab to get a group of fit people in their 20s / 30s to murder each other; the “experiment” that they won’t stop referring to is how they’re experimenting to see which half of which couple will have a stress-induced aneurysm on national television.

Tonight, for the first time, all the couples got to meet each other – all the couples, that is, except the recently split Craig and Andy. Although Dave and Jess also decided to part ways, Craig and Andy were granted a reprieve from the dinner party and Dave and Jess were forced to not only air their grievances with each other in front of a bunch of strangers, but also watch the other couples compete to see which one was the horniest.
Shockingly, even though it was a complete train wreck, the Dave and Jess ~drama~ was not the most awkward part of the show:
Stiiiiill pretty awkward though.
No, the most awkward part was when everyone had had a few glasses of wine, and Bella decided it was her duty to find out how much everyone else had been boning. 
Talking about sex is super fine and normal and, if you’re a grown adult, probably not something you should at all be weird about – but at the same time, you also have to read the room. And this room was not keen to discuss their private life.
Shit escalates from awkward to fucked when Keller decides to jump in on a sentence Bella starts with “I’ve been in a lot of relationships where-” and finish it himself with an accusatory finger and a “I bet you have, after sleeping with a guy after one day I bet you have.
Firstly, who gives a fuck if she’s been in a lot relationships? We’re all adults here, we all have. And if we haven’t? That doesn’t matter either – that’s literally not a measure of anything. And sleeping with someone after one day? Keller, mate, it’s fine that you haven’t hooked up with a random before, but it’s not the 1920s, you have to acknowledge that people do that shit all the time.
Understandably, Bella’s reality TV husband Michael got a bit antsy, and after a back and forth of extremely weak insults from the both of them, it looked like we were about to see a scrap until the huge and beautiful Mark stepped in with his big perfect muscles.
This program sure is getting exciting. Shout out to Dave, who stands around uselessly while Mark actually intervenes.
Source and photo: Channel 9.

More Stuff From PEDESTRIAN.TV