I’m not even going to even try to describe the contents of the Charlie Sheen interview that aired last night on American television network ABC. Just a few quick observations: do his teeth look like they’re rotting to anyone else? The red wire he’s playing with in the footage is apparently the end of a bomb that would go in an F-18 fighter jet. He lives in a three-way relationship with a porn star and a “former graphic designer slash nanny” who he calls his “wedge”. (Other people would call them “enablers”.)

A few of our favourite Charlie Sheen quotes from the interview include: “I’m this aw-shucks guy with a bitchin rock star life and I’m finally gonna completely embrace it, wrap both arms around it and love it violently”; the instant classic: “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen”; and his response to when asked if there are any drugs in the house: “To my best knowledge, no.”

Charlie Sheen is a helluva drug.