GOOD MORNING, AMERICA. In meteorological/military crossover news today, we have this titillating yarn from Washington State, where the US Navy has confirmed one of its pilots is responsible for a giant dick that appeared in the sky.
The most monumental thing to happen in omak. A penis in the sky pic.twitter.com/SM8k1tNYaj
— Anahi Torres (@anahi_torres_) November 16, 2017
The giant sky wang appeared over Okanogan County in the USA‘s northeast on Thursday, and the Navy has responded by being very, very sorry about it.
Navy says air crew flew route to draw obscene air trail in Washington state. Navy "We have grounded the aircrew & are conducting a thorough investigation..we will hold those responsible accountable for their actions. The Navy apologizes for this irresponsible and immature act"
— Chad Pergram (@ChadPergram) November 17, 2017
They’ve also confirmed that the crew responsible for the atmospheric doingus has been grounded, to which we say: aw, c’mon.
“We hold our aircrews to the highest standards, and we do find this absolutely unacceptable,” the Navy said in a statement. “There was zero training value in that maneuver and we’re holding the crew accountable.”
Putting aside the philosophical quandary re: the inherent value of flying a government-funded jet through the stratosphere in the shape of a gargantuan willy, at least the Navy can say they’re bringing joy to the people for once.
Gotta love that the #USNAVY pilots have a sense of humor, guessing they will be in BIG trouble, but I personally LOVE it! #NavyPenis #LookUpInTheSkyItsABirdItsAPlaneItsAPenis pic.twitter.com/wNfUleudPP
— Jack Lawrence XXX (@JackLawrenceXXX) November 17, 2017
So, somebody in the Omak/Okanogan area got in a plane and put this in the sky. I appreciate the time, effort and resources needed to pull this off. pic.twitter.com/AF6gF4UhF6
— Brett Fancher (@brettfancher) November 16, 2017
— Adam Gessaman (@adamrg) November 17, 2017
Proving that the folks in charge of the armed forces still have their senses of humour surgically removed upon entering the service, Vice Admiral Mike Shoemaker of the Naval Air Forces told reporters:
The American people rightfully expect that those who wear the Wings of Gold exhibit a level of maturity commensurate with the missions and aircraft with which they’ve been entrusted. Naval aviation continually strives to foster an environment of dignity and respect. Sophomoric and immature antics of a sexual nature have no place in Naval aviation today.
But riddle me this, Vice Admiral Shoemaker: is there anything more American than a massive dick in the sky?
Image: Instagram / @evan_james24