Are you an avid shitter? Do you simply froth your daily encounters with the toilet seat? Do faecal-related conversations spark joy in your soul? Well, this professional pooper role may be right up your (brown) alley.

US bidet company Tushy are on the lookout for a “VP of Fecal Matters” – it’s a 3-month, part-time gig requiring you to shit from the comfort of your home… and then talk about that shit. Sound great already? It gets better – the successful candidate will pocket a handy $10K USD for their valiant contributions to the poo community.

“With guidance from our Chief Pooping Officer, Dr. Mark Hyman,” the job listing reads, “our new VP of Fecal Matters will be testing and studying their own pooping habits and documenting it via TUSHY’s social media. This will be a three-month, fart-time, $10,000 contract role requiring about 30-60 minutes per day (depending on how many times you poop!) to poop and document your experience.”

“Fart-time” really shouldn’t have made me giggle as much as it did, but it’s Friday and we’re all delirious.

Aside from being loyal to the bidet for 90 days, you’ll essentially be required to talk, interview, post and get candid about your many excretions over that period.

The part-time (dream) gig kicks off July 22nd, with the company taking applications as(s) we speak.

I simply adore the idea that someone, one day, will have ‘VP of Fecal Matters’ on their LinkedIn profile. Iconic.

Good luck, mates. God(s)peed.

Image: Getty Images / Srinrat Wuttichaikitcharoen / EyeEm