Ladies and gentlemen, can we please have your attention. We’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. We need all of you to stop what you’re doing and listen.
Seven B-grade British celebrities are apparently at great risk of dying in Queensland this weekend, according to the hysterical UK press.
There has been an influx of incredibly dramatic news stories about a “fatal heatwave” that’s set to befall the remaining ‘I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!’ contestants who’re currently filming in Springbrook National Park, with weekend temperatures expected to hit… wait for it…
While that is pretty fkn hot, and you wouldn’t want to be sitting out in the sun without protection or water for an extended period of time, reports coming out of the UK – many of whose citizens are allergic to even the smallest ray of sunshine – give the impression people should be preparing for a mass funeral.
Have a peek:
According to Brit news outlets, “jungle bosses are on high alert” and have “medical staff on-site preparing for the worst”.
If only they’d asked the Bureau of Meteorology, who told news.com.au this morning that it’s unlikely temperatures will rise above the mid-30s in the National Park.
So…. assuming producers will provide contestants with shade, food and water in between takes – and aren’t sadists – we’re optimistic no one will die this weekend.
Rest easy, our British friends.
Source: UK Media.