Bloody hell. Let’s just… let’s all hold hands. If we all hold hands we can get through this one together. As a group. If we deal with this collectively, and it’ll be slightly less dang.
SBS‘s weekly gabbin’ session Insight aired the first of two episodes exploring the weird and wonderful phenomena that is identical twins last night, with scores of twins filling the gallery to chat about the experiences of having an exact double.
Among the revelations – one man discovered a rare brain tumour after his twin suffered chronic headaches, one pair of twins won Australia’s “most identical” contest even though one is straight and the other gay, and one pair developed breast cancer at exactly the same time – there was the case of the DeCinque twins from Perth.
Lucy and Anna, both 30, are really fucking into being twins.
The Perth pair are so keen on the idea of maintain absolute symmetry that they’ve spent somewhere in the vicinity of $250,000 on cosmetic surgery in order to look more identical. This has included breast implants, lip fillers, fake eyebrows and eye lashes, the whole kit and caboodle.
And they share everything together as well, such is their drive for one common identity. They have one phone number between them, they share one bed together, and they also have a shared boyfriend.
Two sisters.
One dude.
Both date/bang him.
Christ alive.
What’s more, now that they’ve hit the dirty 30, the pair thoughts are turning towards starting a family. Together. Simultaneously. Because they insist on being absolutely identical at all times.
“We would have to be exactly the same — even if we went through IVF at the same time.”
The twin’s mirror imaging is measured to the absolute last drop, including food, drink, and even metres walked.
“If she walks a few metres, I need to walk a few metres because we have to burn the same calories. Our diet is identical. Our food has to be identical. The same glass of water we measure. The same size of chip packets we have to measure.”
And when we say everything they do has to be identical, we mean ev-er-y-thing. Shared boyfriend Ben Byrne explained his predicament to Woman’s Day back in 2014:
“It’s my first time with two girlfriends [he says casually, like it’s a normal fucking thing that everyone goes through], and to be honest it’s very difficult because it has to be 100 per cent even. Whatever I do for one I have to do for the other, so it’s a fine balance. My mates reckon it’s a cool problem to have.”
The three of them share a large king-size bed, of which Lucy DeCinque says, “put it this way, we’re very active girls and he needs twice the energy.“
Some things, man… There’s just some things you really don’t need to know are out there, y’know?
Photo: Insight.
