Here’s Every Thought You Had Once You Finished ‘Too Hot To Handle’ This Week

Like everyone else bored in isolation, we binge watched Netflix‘s Too Hot To Handle dating show over the weekend. For some of you who, you know, are actually doing PRACTICAL stuff in lockdown like… running… or knitting?? maybe it took you a few more days.

Either way, you’re likely done with it now. And you have Some Thoughts. So did we – we being myself (Mel, Managing Editor in Sydney) and Courtney (Music and Culture Editor).

We sat down and wrote ours out. Hands up if you agree with all of it.

COURTNEY: Ok so I really didn’t have the highest expectations for this. Like, the bar was set very low. And Sharron still managed to shimmy under that bar with the first thing that came out of his mouth. He was like “yeah I’m a feminist” and I was like oop hmm okay I can get around this guy, does Womens studies at uni, good, nice. And then he IMMEDIATELY ruined it by saying it’s a “good way to pick up chicks”.

oookay.

So that right there was the kick off for me. I knew what I was getting into from then and there. And everyone after Sharron was just…I think I got mild whiplash from shaking my head so much.

MEL: I also didn’t have high hopes – I mean, I was really excited for the SHOW, because it looked like a mash up of Love Island and soft porn, but I expected pure trash. Which it… wasn’t? More on that later, I will also say that yes – Sharron came right outta the gates with that quick one-two. So for anyone who hasn’t watched and just wants to read about it, Too Hot To Handle is basically shoving the hottest people from across the world together, letting them get horny and then telling them they can never, ever fuck.

COURTNEY: I did love that they had a grace period which was juuuust enough for them to pair off, have a cheeky pash, get drunk, flirt HEAVILY, but not root. And then Lana, with that chime that I think will probably seep into my dreams, comes in with the ultimate freeze-out.

I absolutely thought it would be total trash and like, everyone would just fob off the prize money so they could root, but it actually was so interesting to watch everyone realise that there’s so much more to themselves than just being hot root rats.

well, kinda not root rats

MEL: Yes! I was really surprised that this show actually DID develop these young, horny hot people into young, horny, WISE hot people. Stand outs for me were Sharron overcoming his fear of commitment due to a traumatic end to his past relationship, and Chloe giving it to Kori for being a fuckboy and leading her on, after she stared at her vagina and found her female worth. That sentence sounds insane, to anyone who hasn’t watched the show.

COURTNEY: I love Chloe so much.

MEL: Watching them interact with each other after doing any deeper-level bonding workshops was interesting, like you could kind of see them chipping away at their own personal walls and allowing these random people they’re living with for a month to actually meet the version of themselves they don’t use as a front when they’re out trying to pick up.

COURTNEY: Like, the level of vulnerability just skyrockets, and I’m not sure if some of it is said because they’re just trying to get into each others’ pants (and get those wristbands to go green lol) but it was very insightful and heartwarming to watch people confront and acknowledge their own insecurities and fears.

MEL: I absolutely think some of the “progression” was just to win Instagram follows and, immediacy-wise, some free heavy petting from Lana. But some of the people on this show seemed to show actual development – aside from Sharron, who I just love so much now – Chloe, David and even Harry seemed to actually, in the words of Kylie Jenner, realise some stuff.

Ok – who did you love the most. For me, it was Sharron. I just found his ~ journey ~ so emotional. And he seemed to genuinely fall for Rhonda, who is a fucking lord and deserves the world.

CUUUUTE

COURTNEY: Okay so I obviously love Chloe because she’s just such a firecracker and so funny. Like, obviously drop dead gorgeous and knows it but also just made me laugh out loud so often, and watching her realise and understand her own strength as a young woman was really beautiful.

MEL: Chloe is hilarious – I want her to be my best friend. She reminded me of Charlotte from Geordie Shore.

COURTNEY: Absolutely adore Rhonda, she’s just so strong and powerful and seemed to be one of the ones who stood head and shoulders above everyone else when it came to actively developing herself as a person during the show. Like, even just looking at her body language in the Yoni session toward the end, she stood in a way that made her look (and probably feel) very confident and sure of herself, and I think that really helped with allowing her to be more vulnerable with Sharron, especially about her life outside of the island that she wanted to share with him.

MEL: Rhonda was already such a queen coming into the show, and just handled everything so well – like when she was considering David as a romantic interest, but then realised her feelings lay with Sharron, she let him down so gently. She was just operating on a higher plane tbh.

COURTNEY: I feel like Sharron and Rhonda’s connection was actually quite genuine, and I’m going to absolutely spit it if they’ve split up. David, oh my heart. An absolute playboy who ended up having this real soft side – when he cried looking into Chloe (?) eyes in the workshop, I couldn’t deal.

MEL: I found David a bit dull overall, but I agree – when he cried looking at Chloe I was like, wow these people are pretty open to the point of this experiment. It did kinda deflate when he then said “I just realised you’re not just a hot woman” or whatever he said, lol.

COURTNEY: Oh David, honey. His heart was in the right place but he just does not do words good. It also took me a moment but I ended up really liking Jesus/Matthew. Even though he didn’t connect with anyone on the island, he was so much more open and willing to do a lot of the emotional/personal work, and I think he ended up getting a lot out of it that I hope, God I hope, he’s taken back into the real world.

Christ no

MEL: Okay this will flip us to “who do you hate”, because I fucking HATE Jesus. So Jesus came in and I was immediately like, yes bitch this is my kind of hot-horny-man. I’m less about max gains, more “I just got back from a retreat in Brazil where I learned about how to achieve spiritual orgasms”. But then as the episodes rolled on, Jesus seemed less sexy, mild wanker, more like just a fucking arrogant piece of shit. What about when he tried to chat up that Californian new girl? What the fuck was that.

COURTNEY: Oh God, okay yeah I clearly just blacked out a lot of his behaviour because I just…didn’t care that much about him. He’s very much like a goes-to-Burning-Man-every-year-but-only-in-full-luxury kinda guy.

MEL: Exactly his vibe. Here’s someone else I really disliked – Francesca.

Also Haley but give us a sec

COURTNEY: I just absolutely couldn’t figure out how I felt about her. At the start? No. Not a fan. She actively didn’t give a shit about anything and came across as a bratty off-brand Kardashian. By the end, and how much she was fawning over Harry? Still don’t know.

MEL: Okay here I go with my twenty minute Francesca rant. At first, I didn’t mind her. She was keen on Harry, and then he fucked her over by lying and blaming her for their breaking rules moment. Which he instigated. And actively participated in.

But then when she just never cared about rule-breaking, tried to seduce Kelz in the hot tub, and would laugh about losing the team money because “she doesn’t need the money as an Instagram star”, I was like – you know what? You’re a piece of shit. Money means a lot to some people – I’m sure some of these folks could have done with a cool $10k. Fine if it doesn’t matter to you, but don’t just break rules and lose cash for fun mate. Also when she went on the date with Kori and shat all over Chloe’s dreams? Terrible behaviour.

COURTNEY: I also really didn’t like Haley. She spent the whole thing (until she was booted out) just acting and talking like she was above everyone else and had nothing to improve about herself. BITCH. DO NOT LIE TO YOURSELF.

MEL: Yes so I also couldn’t stand Haley. At first, I found her “IDGAF about anyone here” attitude kind of refreshing, but then it just seemed like as everyone else actually tried to participate in all the self-growth stuff, she just acted like a brat.

COURTNEY: I do love how ruthless Lana was with just booting out people for coasting through and making no attempts to progress themselves.

MEL: FULLY, was good to see her go.

COURTNEY: I can’t believe how much I came around to Harry. He was such an idiot at the start, but then you remember he’s 22 and just…a man from the Gold Coast. Literally every fuckboy toolie on the Gold Coast in November.

oh you cheeky cockatoo

MEL: EVERY fuckboy toolie. Do you know what, I just loved Harry from the outset. As soon as he came in and went “look at you hot little quesadillas” I was like, 100% on board. Classic Aussie dude who is pretty much behaving like a sexist pig, but is such a cheeky bugger you let them get away with it?

COURTNEY: A problematic fave from day dot. Really shouldn’t encourage his behaviour but that shit-eating grin just won me over. Also he looks a LOT like my friend Myles and it fucked me up.

MEL: The shit-eating grin got me every time. The only moment I was pissed at him was when he threw Francesca under the bus and pretended he was but a victim in their initial hook up. But like, at all other times he got me good. How did you feel about the ending? I found it a bit flat.

COURTNEY: It just…ended? Like, there was no real plan to how to end it almost? Like, well done, you won money back, you almost got it back to $100k, now you get to split it. Goodbye!

MEL: Yeah, like the splitting it was weird to me because what the fuck did the Irish girl do that whole time? I saw no growth or romantic energy from her whatsoever. They should have evicted people if they didn’t progress at all week to week.

COURTNEY: Omg I quietly loved her, she was so unassuming that I kept forgetting about her. But then she’d pop up as just this really nice and supportive energy, like a tiny little Irish hype girl for everyone else forging relationships and I’m like “yay I love you”.

MEL: Yeah see I’m hardcore – it’s a dating show, if you don’t match with someone fuck off. Lol. But even Kelz, who didn’t really find a romantic interest, still tried and also grew as a person. He can stay.

COURTNEY: Yeah look she probably could have been booted for just…not doing anything. Ah Kelz, a man who said that “long term” is four weeks.

MEL: Did you love it overall? I feel like it scored a soft 7/10 from me. Not as drama-filled as Love Island, my fave forever, but enough to keep me watching through eight episodes.

COURTNEY: Yeah, I mean I don’t watch much dating reality TV, and I think it was a good pivot/different approach than Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachie In Paradise/MAFS/Love Island which almost seem like carbon copies of each other. It almost feels a little more genuine because the physical aspect is so harshly and severely removed.

I think this first season has been a good testing grounds to see if it would work, and airing it during iso when literally nobody can casually root anyway has been SUCH a power move by Netflix. I think if they nut out (lol) some of the little things like being more harsh on booting people, how the prize money works at the end etc, it’ll do well in the future. Also just give me like, 100 seasons of it immediately.

MEL: And have Harry in all of them, thanks.

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