Breaking FUCKING news, fam: our boi Tony Armstrong has, wait for it… gotten a haircut! Which is absolutely newsworthy, IMO.

Tony stans reacting to his new ‘do.

It’s such a mundane task for one to do. Such an ordinary, run-of-the-mill form of bodily upkeep, and yet something as simple as chopping off your locks and shaving your face has folks on Twitter up in arms(trong). Soz, I had to do. It was right there.

Let’s have a peek at the handsome lad’s update, shall we?

BEFORE

AFTER

It’s noice, isn’t it? It’s clean. It’s neat. It’s trim. (I’m hoping ya read all that in a Kath & Kim voice, by the way, because that was absolutely my intention).

Because Australia has adopted Tony has our collective boyfriend, naturally everyone had some thoughts, feelings and opinions on Twitter.

Before we delve into them, let’s make two things perfectly clear:

  1. Despite adopting him as our collective boyfriend in spirit, absolutely nobody has a say in whether or not the bloke can or can’t chop his locks off (no matter how lush they are), so fuck right off with your possessive language.
  2. Tony could suture a multi-coloured clown wig to his head and still look smoking hot. So we should all be grateful that he’s gracing us with his princely presence!

This has certainly been a welcome distraction from the abject chaos that’s going on out there, hasn’t it?

Where the bloody hell would we all be without Tony Armstrong? Suffering endlessly, no doubt.