While America’s biggest sporting event of the year, Katy Perry‘s killer performance book-ended by some ballz, was going down, Canberra was preparing for its biggest smack down in a long while, Tony Abbott’s National Press conference address.
All your friends were there, like Warren Truss, who was dying.
So was Joe Hockey, summing up the feeling of the Coalition right now: concerned, but really fucking bored.
So what did we learn from Tone’s major address to the nation, today?
The biggest zinger was Abbott’s response to being asked if he thinks he is the “best person for the job” and if he has considered resigning. “Yes and no,” Abbott said. Yes to the best man for the job (“a very good captain”, icymi). And a vehement “no” to resigning from the top job. On his colleague and front-runner for leadership if a spill did occur, Julie Bishop, Tony Abbott said: “Julie’s a friend of mine, Julie’s my deputy….I believe I have her full support and I certainly look forward to continuing to have that.”
Shutting down the possibility of a caucus vote on leadership: “It’s the people that hire, and frankly it’s the people that should fire,” Tony Abbott said.
So, that’s that, for now. http://istonyabbottstillprimeminister.com/ remains unchanged.
*shrugs*
Abbott’s address was suspiciously short on policy, and rarely strayed from tooting the government’s own horn. A few of those being:
“The Abbott government has stopped the boats – and only this government will keep them stopped.”
“There will be no carbon tax under a government I lead.”
“Today, despite headwinds overseas, the economy is stronger, the budget is improving and the jobs market has strengthened.”
“Petrol prices are nearing 15 year lows, home loan interest rates are low
and stable, and the September quarter had the biggest fall in power
prices on record.”
You have to admire old Tone for trying to claim the low price of petrol as his own achievement, despite it really being a global economic reaction to oversupply and demand. Nice one, tho!
Abbott’s wife Margie and his daughters obviously scored a mention in today’s address, after the Paid Parental Leave scheme was announced as officially dropped:
“I admire stay-at-home mums, as Margie was when our children were
young, but support better paid parental leave to maximise young people’s
– like my daughters’ – choices to have a career and to have a family
too. I accept, though, that what’s desirable is not always doable, especially when times are tough and budgets are tight.”
Tony Abbott went on to point out that there’s some untapped potential in half of our population: “if female participation in Australia were six per cent higher, at Canada’s level, GDP would be higher by $25 billion a year.” Declining to comment on this because it’s ~literally~ killing my spirit, heart and sanity. Use your imagination.
“Women, after all, are our most under-utilised source of skills.” #inthecabinetforexample #npc
— Annabel Crabb (@annabelcrabb) February 2, 2015
On the recent Knightmare, Abbott said: “I have listened, I have learned, I have acted and those particular
captain’s picks which people found difficult have been reversed.” Abbott insisted that captain intervention will no longer be an issue in Australia, saying, “…all awards in the Order of Australia will be henceforth be a matter for the Order of Australia Council.”
Channel 9’s Kerrie Yaxley asked the PM, ““Why are you so unpopular?”
Oh my god, Karen Kerrie. You can’t just ask someone why everyone hates them.
Do you truly have nothing better to do with your glorious Monday afternoon? Great. You can watch the whole speech below. Alternatively, watch the brilliant House of Cards + Tony Abbott mash-up after the jump.
Photos by Stefan Postles via Getty.
