My dearest friends and companions, it is with a heavy heart that I bring this news to you today. Journos often work in the business of tragedy, and unfortunately, this yarn is no different. It hurts me to say but, Tom Holland, my husband, has gone Insta official with Zendaya. Ouch.

Just one look at Tom Holland and Zendaya together and you’ll understand why the relationship works. They’re both incredibly talented people, both extremely attractive and they both have a sense of humour (from what we’ve seen in interviews).

Emotionally, however, I refuse to believe this relationship makes any sense at all when I really thought that Tom Holland was going to propose to me any day now. I guess he was occupied on the set of Spiderman: No Way Home with his new lover. Makes sense. Guess I’ll throw away the authentic Italian pasta dish I made him for when he came back home.

“My MJ, have the happiest of birthdays. Give me a call when you’re up xxx,” Holland wrote on the Instagram caption of a cute-ass pic of the two of them.

The post was whipped up for Zendaya’s bday, assumedly before she was even awake, which is cute as hell. Nobody remembers to text early on your birthday more than your new boyfriend, that’s for sure.

The post of the two of them is the first time that either party has shared a picture confirming their relationship on Instagram. Technically it’s not the hugest news in the world, but my entire life has been shifted by this single image, so give me some space.

Already, the image has accumulated over 14M likes, which is huge, and a whole bunch of comments from people saying that Holland should call them instead.

It goes without saying that the couple met on the set of the first Spiderman movie Homecoming, and have since filmed two more movies after it to complete the trilogy. That’s a lot of time together acting out an on-screen romance, it only makes sense that you’d move it into the real world.

I’ve gotta say, the couple is fkn adorable, and there’s something about “my MJ” that has me sobbing into a pillow. Keep being cute, you two, I’ll be here whenever you both break up (which is hopefully never).