Who gave me the right to do a Logies fashion wrap up? Me, the girl who wears the same black on black activewear combo day in day out, folded into my work chair like a Bionicle or a small prawn? Me, who just last week considered purchasing an Oodie, with the actual intention of wearing it?

In this perpetually unknowable universe I somehow have found myself in the position of Logies 2022 fashion reviewer for PEDESTRIAN.TV. Friends, I will lean into this role with gusto and fervour, for in life we must embrace the mysterious and stare into the face of chaos with bravery in our hearts and perhaps a small festive bow upon our heads.

Let me guide you through the best looks of this year’s Logies red carpet, exclusively according to my own personal taste and with no objective style expertise whatsoever.

Maria Thattil

Here’s All The Tightest & Tizziest Looks From The First Logies Red Carpet In Two (!) Years
Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images

Screaming, crying, throwing up, banging my head on the concrete. Miss Universe Australia Maria Thattil has completely knocked it out of the park with this one. Kinda reminds me of Kim K‘s wet look from the 2019 Met Gala. No notes!

Jessica Mauboy

Here’s All The Tightest & Tizziest Looks From The First Logies Red Carpet In Two (!) Years
Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images

In the immortal words of Mike’s Mic, would you rather never slay again, or slay so hard every day that slay loses all meaning? Jessica Mauboy chose the latter with this Logies outfit. I adore this look. Perfect, no changes, 10 out of 10.

Zoe Foster-Blake

Here’s All The Tightest & Tizziest Looks From The First Logies Red Carpet In Two (!) Years
Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images

I know Hamish Blake is probably about to win a Gold Logie but TBH with you babes I’m focused on Zoe. The colour! The hair! The gloves! My eyeballs are bouncing in and out of my skull like Bugs Bunny right now. Aawoogah!

Christian Wilkins

Here’s All The Tightest & Tizziest Looks From The First Logies Red Carpet In Two (!) Years
Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images

I personally love a dramatic look, and this one has Drama with a captial D. Very minimal and chic.

Tony Armstrong

Here’s All The Tightest & Tizziest Looks From The First Logies Red Carpet In Two (!) Years
Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images

Australia’s boyfriend Tony Armstrong looks hot tonight. Good for him!

April Rose Pengilly

Here’s All The Tightest & Tizziest Looks From The First Logies Red Carpet In Two (!) Years
Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images

I’m a big more-is-more kinda gal, so this one is right up my alley. If you’re gonna walk the Logies red carpet, why not really walk it, y’know what I mean? April Rose Pengilly seems to be a woman after my own heart.

Abbie Chatfield

Here’s All The Tightest & Tizziest Looks From The First Logies Red Carpet In Two (!) Years
Photo by Jono Searle/Getty Images

Just when I plopped my eyeballs back into their sockets Abbie Chatfield has them going bonkers again. Plus she has the iconic Mel B helping her display her look. How can one woman live so many dreams?

Sophie Monk

Here’s All The Tightest & Tizziest Looks From The First Logies Red Carpet In Two (!) Years
Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images

Sophie Monk comes to slay once again. This dress kind of makes her look like a Gold Logie, which I appreciate – dress to manifest!

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Image: Getty Images / Chris Hyde