Three Things We Learnt From Millsy’s Dating Column

He of Australian Idol alumni and formerly-frosted
tips, Rob ‘Millsy’ Mills can now add relationship advisor to his ever-growing
repertoire. The actor/singer/slashie recently got his Carrie Bradshaw on as a
guest writer for women’s website Mamamia, attempting to fill us in on all of the
things single ladies should know about love games.

Despite failling to offer any particularly groundbreaking information, what we really learnt about was what it is that grinds Millsy’s gears. All in all, he seems like a bit
of a sweetheart really, which perhaps could be the exact intention of this calculated
career move.

Here are three things we learnt about dating Millsy from his column: 

Millsy is a Man Drought

Man drought? Pffft. In the same vein as a
climate change skeptic, Millsy believes the Man Drought phenomenon, that is,
that there are not enough Australian men around to meet female demand, simply
does not exist. He dubs it an excuse for relationship failures which should
really be traced back to ill-communication practices.  His reasons for women not finding the right
guy all come down to their game playing tactics, game playing that he says just
“isn’t good”. Heavy stuff, Millsy.

Millsy hates playing the game

This one’s for you, Paris! Jokes, Millsy unfortunately
doesn’t mention his brief affair with Paris Hilton that despite being quite
some time ago, we haven’t actually gotten over just yet.

Anyway, building on the first point, Millsy champions
the ‘good guy’ of society, the “John Smith” as he likes to call him. Sick of
the contradictions, the double standards and the hot and cold behavior typical
to the game of lurrrve, Rob is damn frustrated by the whole situation and urges
people to be honest with one another. Don’t hate the player hate the game etc.

Millsy is anti-SMS

Painting the humble text message as sneaky
and toneless, it becomes apparent that even Millsy himself has fallen victim to
the old SMS misread.  The dreaded over-analysis
of an X at the end of a text or what period of time ‘see you soon’ actually
refers to sends his show-biz blood cold. He implores all the single ladies to do
things the old fashioned way by phoning or face to face-ing their crushes.

So there you have it, a basic checklist for potential Millsy-partners on how to not give him the shits whilst dating. Well played, Millsy. Well played indeed.