The Masked Singer Revealed Thong’s Identity & My Inner Noughties Child Is Officially Screaming

The Masked Singer Australia has unveiled the face behind maybe my favourite costume of all time: Thong. And Thong was in fact bonafide Aussie legend Pia Miranda all along. Yes, the rhyme was intentional.

Yes, actual Josie Alibrandi of Looking for Alibrandi fame. Nineties and noughties Aussie kids just let out a collective gasp.

And look, Miranda may not have won The Masked Singer Australia but she did actually win Australian Survivor: Champions v Contenders. There is a bonafide Australian screen icon on our hands here.

How can you not love that little Thong face? I’m dazzled by the smile.

The judge’s guesses for this one were, in a word, rogue.

Hughesy insisted Thong was rapper Iggy Azalea, despite there being no rapping. In fact, Thong performed P!nk’s song ‘So What’. Not exactly an Azalea tune.

Chrissie Swan initially guessed Carly Rae Jepsen, but then switched to Bindi Irwin at the last second. Both guesses were wrong so she shouldn’t feel too bad.

Mel B went for Ruby Rose whereas Abbie Chatfield guessed Isla Fisher.

In maybe the tensest battle since the Australian Federal Election, Thong faced down against Blowfly in the battle. I am only slightly devastated it wasn’t to Sisqo’s ‘Thong Song’, but perhaps that would’ve been an unfair advantage.

The clues shrouding Thong’s real identity were:

Clue 1: I’m Thong, and I’m elastic like rubber! 

Clue 2: Nobody notices Thongs, that’s fine by me! It worked in my favour big time! 

Clue 3: That looks tender. 

Clue 4: My childhood dreams faded, but art can imitate life.

Clue 5: I love this car! It’s ageless and doesn’t need to spend much time in the garage. 

Clue 6: I’m a cleanskin now, but I wasn’t always. 

Clue 7: I’m Thong, and I will be champion again!

Honestly, I think the clues confuse me more.

If you’re desperate for more Thong content, you can catch up on The Masked Singer Australia on 10Play.