This Is The Lord, This Is The Messiah Of All Back-Whackers

There is a giant new water slide in Waco, Texas called The Royal Flush. The concept of it is really simple: One slide, on an artificial hill top, with a lip at the bottom that launches you into the air where you can flail like a salmon on a boat floor, or execute a series of dope-ass flips (depending on aerobic ability) before splashing down into the lake below.

This is how using it is supposed to look.

Vaguely attractive young people, bright colour filters, and extreme athletic ability aside, that’s the general idea. You slide down, you fling off, you land safely in the water. Everyone laughs and declares it “BEST SUMMER EVER!!!1!
And then there’s this, which is absolutely not how to do it. At all. Ever.

[Editor’s Note: Video has since been deleted]

Her perfect, plank-like form through the air. The inevitability of the fall. That goddamned sound when she hits the water.
Do not cry for her, for she is already dead.

More Stuff From PEDESTRIAN.TV