Tonight is the second Live Results Show on The X-Factor Australia where we will see one of the 11 remaining contestants say au revoir to our television screens and their hopes and dreams. On last night’s show the least impressive performers were arguably Justin, Shiane and Jason, but the history of these shows has demonstrated time and time again that the worst performers aren’t necessarily the ones who get canned. In short, let’s prepare to be doing a bit of this as the episode progresses:
7:35pm: Host Luke Jacobz has just informed us that Guy won’t be in attendance tonight because he’s in New York playing The Late Show With David Letterman. Kudos Guy. The opening group performance will be with the tiny cute UK pop/soul gal Rita Ora. She sounds like Rihanna.
7:40pm: The female contestants join Rita Ora on stage first and sing a little before the boy bands and the rest of them join in the fun. And ‘fun’ it is, because there are multi-coloured balloons dropping from the ceiling and smiles all around. The terrible wardrobe department’s work is really shining this evening. It looks like a gay unicorn vomited all over the stage. And not in a good way.
7:44pm: We are now being updated up on last night’s performances with some behind-the-scenes conversations between various contestants and their mentors. All the mentors are bitching about each other!
7:48pm: Back in the present, Ronan and Luke talk about how awkward the animosity between Mel and Nat was last night. Ronan says “it made Guy and I really uncomfortable and I just wish they’d kiss and make up.” Mel and Nat promptly lean in to each other and KISS ON THE LIPS in a not unsexy way.
7:55pm: While I recover from the Mel B and Natalie Bassingthwaighte ‘lip lock’ moment, James Morrison is on stage to perform a soft folk-pop song that Ronan knows all the words too. No surprises there.
7:57pm: I bet some keen A&R person one pitched James Morrison as “the voice of the Goo Goo Dolls guy with the looks of Chris Martin from Coldplay”.
8:04pm: It’s finally judgment time, and the contestants walk on stage with their mentors wearing the same categorically heinous outfits they wore last night. The boy band clothes are genuinely upsetting, except maybe for the suits on What About Tonight.
8:06pm: The first contestant voted through is Carmelo! He only joined the group last night after replacing Mel B’s shamed nude pic enthusiast Josh. Surprising.
8:07pm: Next through is – incredibly – Justin the older cowboy dude who was not great last night. Shiane is also announced to be safe, followed by Jason. There you have it – and just as I suspected. So Mel is resting easy as her two remaining dudes are through to the next round.
8:08pm: Ronan‘s boy band darlings The Collective are also safe. And Guy‘s favourite Sammy makes it through too.
8:10pm: Fourtunate and Angel are the next to be announced as safe, so there’s one more to go and it is… Bella. So we will see What About Tonight and Nathaniel singing for their lives. My boyfriend thinks What About Tonight should be voted off based on their group name alone, which is a sentiment I can get behind.
8:18pm: Jesus, now ANOTHER guest act is performing. This time it’s The Script. One of the lead singers is both bald and a red head. Needless to say the band is Irish. Ronan is pleased as punch.
8:28pm: What About Tonight take to the stage, singing for their lives – hyperbolically speaking. They’re doing an awful version of “The Way You Make Me Feel” by Michael J. Things are looking up for Nathaniel at this point…
8:31pm: Next up is Nathaniel singing some R&B ballad. He is doing all the requisite R&B ballad moves: clenched fists, concerned eyebrow lifts, etc. His voice is a little weak, but I think he is a far better contender than What About Tonight, who are d-grade boy band seconds at best.
8:39pm: Now the mentors make their decisions. Guy automatically voted for What About Tonight. Then Ronan, naturally, votes against Nathaniel.
8:40pm: Nat votes to keep Nathaniel in, so we’re left with Mel B with the deciding vote. In a giant cop out, she votes to oust Nathaniel, leaving it to the public vote. Girls are in the audience bawling, can you believe!
8:42pm: Luke has the envelope and the one voted out is… What About Tonight. I’m thrilled.
8:45pm: As the youths in What About Tonight say they’ll be back and that their journey isn’t over, there are girls CRYING IN THE AUDIENCE. What about tomorrow? Find someone else to be fans of, gals. Next week, the remaining contestants are performing Top 10 Hits. Excellent theme. Get commenting below if you’re so inclined, otherwise we’ll be back on Monday for the next live blog.
