The World Is Struggling To Deal W/ Lindsay Lohan’s Baffling New Accent

Case in point: she suddenly has a cool new quasi-European accent. For a normal person, an accent develops over years of living, conversing and cohabitating with certain people in a geographical region through a series of complex linguistic processes, but for LiLo she has a new accent because she decided she was going to have a new accent.

Speaking to media about opening her new club in Greece, where her Irish/French/Spanish/who fuckin’ knows creole was on full display:

#LindsayLohan has a new speaking accent/mannerism – and it is the most odd and fascinating thing!! Watch HERE! https://t.co/jOGRRXg2lG pic.twitter.com/9beQWIspSQ

— Perez (@ThePerezHilton) November 1, 2016

Wh-what is that? She’s clearly aware that it is an accent unknown to any known culture on the face of the Earth:

@DailyMailUK what should I call my new accent? I’m thinking #LILOHAN

— Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) November 1, 2016

Speaking to Daily Mail, Lohan says that her new accent is “a mixture of most of the languages I can understand or am trying to learn,” which I don’t think is really how accents or languages actually work – but y’know, power to you. If you’re gonna run a club in Greece, you need some kind of linguistic melange to tantalise the kind of maniacs who go to nightclubs in Greece.

The response has been great:

secret footage of Lindsay Lohan’s new language teacher leaving her house… #lindsaylohan #lilohan pic.twitter.com/9JHf3g7Zpn

— Beth Williams (@pylon_92) November 2, 2016

As a taxpayer, I feel the need for the FBI to focus on more important issues such as Lindsay Lohan’s new accent #LILOHAN

— Fox Deatry (@foxdeatry) November 2, 2016

how many times have YOU watched the lindsay lohan accent video, that’s what I’d like to know

— rosemary donahue (@rosadona) November 2, 2016

Lilo talking in a faux-Middle Eastern accent about solving the refugee crisis with her nightclub is 2016 in a nutshell.

— Paul Schrodt (@paulschrodt) November 2, 2016

Thank you, LiLo. Thank you for the memories.