As promised, The White Lotus Season Two finale ended with a BANG (literally).
Everyone seems to have an opinion about how the spicy season wrapped up, including Jennifer Coolidge herself.
Speaking to Vulture, Coolidge revealed that she knew “very early on” that her character was being killed off.
“Even before he was planning for Italy, Mike [White, the creator] told me he wanted me in White Lotus two. And then I don’t know how many months after, he called me up one day and said, ‘Well, I guess I have to tell you this now so you can prepare.’ And I said, ‘What?’ And he goes, ‘You die, Jennifer. You’re gonna die in White Lotus two.’ And I said, ‘Oh no! You’ve gotta be kidding me! Really?’” she recounted.
She says she “tried to talk him out of it” but he was “very strong.”
“He said I was going to have a tragic ending, and he stuck to his guns,” she said.
Coolidge revealed some other interesting tidbits including the fact that she improvised the now-iconic line: “These gays are trying to murder me.” Powerful stuff.
Have a read of the full interview for more on what she thought about her character’s demise.
Now, back to dissecting the finale.
There were so many interweaving storylines that it’s easy to miss important deets, so we’ve recapped the finale by explaining where each character ended up.
This goes without saying, but there are obviously major spoilers ahead and anyone who complains about having the finale ruined will end up floating in the ocean with [redacted] and [redacted].
Just kidding! Sorta…
Tanya McQuoid-Hunt (Jennifer Coolidge)
Since Tanya is arguably the main character of the show, I think it’s best we delve into her storyline first, right?
Your girl finally cottons on to the fact that her hubby is in cahoots with the gays.
As previously predicted, Tanya figures out that Greg (Jon Gries) has teamed up with Quentin (Tom Hollander) to off her because according to their prenup, if she dies, Greg receives all her money.
She tries desperately to GTFO of the boat but finds herself trapped with the blokes along with the mafia dude.
Her concerns are solidified when she rifles through the mobster’s bag only to find duct tape, rope and a gun.
As she’s facing imminent death, she takes the gun and shoots all the men on the boat, except for one or two who manage to escape.
As she herself tries to escape from the boat and return to shore, she falls over the side and bangs her head on a dinghy.
There’s a v. powerful shot of Tanya sinking into the ocean before later washing up on the beach, revealing that she is, unfortunately, one of the bodies floating in the water in the opening scene. The others being the gays and the mobster who she shot in self-defence.
Mia (Beatrice Grannò) and Lucia (Simona Tabasco)
The Italian sex workers probably fared the best out of everyone.
After a hot night of rooting with hotel manager Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore), Mia is offered the full-time role of The White Lotus pianist.
Meanwhile Lucia is finally paid the money she’s owed by Cameron (Theo James) and Ethan (Will Sharpe).
Not only that, but she even convinces Albie (Adam DiMarco) to finagle his dad into transferring her money to pay off those blokes who were threatening to kill her.
But get this: it’s revealed in the closing scene that those guys weren’t actually trying to kill her, they were friends of hers who were helping her out with the ruse. Not only that, but they’re employees at The White Lotus.
Portia (Haley Lu Richardson), Albie Di Grasso (Adam DiMarco) and Jack (Leo Woodall)
Jack eventually comes clean with Portia about what’s going on with Tanya and his uncle.
When Portia asks him to drop her off at his uncle’s house so she can save Tanya, he instead drops her at the airport and tells her to leave for her own safety.
At the airport, Portia finds Albie who reveals that Lucia “played” him.
The pair exchange numbers, hinting that after the wild events that took place at The White Lotus hotel, they’ve realised that what they really want is each other and they’ll probs give it a shot back home in LA.
Harper Spiller (Aubrey Plaza), Ethan Spiller (Will Sharpe), Cameron Sullivan (Theo James) and Daphne Sullivan (Meghann Fahy)
Ethan, consumed with jealousy, finally gets Harper to admit that she kissed Cameron in the room, swearing that it was nothing more than a kiss.
Ethan then attacks Cameron in the water but the fight is broken up by another holidaymaker.
On his way back to the hotel, he bumps into Daphne who doesn’t seem to care about her hubby having smooched Harper. Instead, she invites Ethan to that secluded island and he obliges. Seductive music plays in the background, so we’re led to believe those two end up banging.
At their final dinner together, Cameron and Daphne do all the talking while Harper and Ethan barely speak, insinuating that only one couple will survive the trip.
But later that night, Harper and Ethan get it on for the first time in ages, as if the chaos of the trip revived their spark.
And that’s all, folks! What a wild-ass ride this has been.
Meanwhile, The White Lotus Season Three is currently in the works and we can’t bloody wait.