26 Tweets & Memes From The Real Love Boat, A Dating Show Which Has Already Made Me Seasick

Moana on The Real Love Boat Australia eating cheese and looking disgusted and a Tweet that says "GIVE THE CAT THE TICKET" with a photo of a fluffy ginger cat

The first episode of The Real Love Boat Australia is done and dusted and hot diggity dog, what a fucking wild ride it was. I don’t know what I expected from a reality dating show that’s been dubbed as “Love Island on boat”, but it wasn’t that.

In case your The Real Love Boat Australia lore isn’t quite up to scratch, the show sees 21 singles from all around Australia search for love aboard a cruise ship. I don’t know how the producers found more than 20 people willing to live on a cruise ship given, y’know, COVID-19 but alas, they did.

We’ve done a deep-dive into the love-struck singles (which includes a set of twins, because nothing is hotter than trying to find a root while stuck on a boat with your brother) here.

But enough about what we think. Let’s cop a squiz at what the people of Twitter thought about The Real Love Boat Australia, shall we?

First things first, the cruising community was up in arms because, and I quote, “it’s offensive to call a cruise ship a boat because they’re two different things”.

https://twitter.com/CruisingWithKar/status/1577574475541143552

It’s quite scandalous, really. The people of Twitter are also having a moment because the show threw us a fucking curveball by announcing one of the blokes wouldn’t be boarding the cruise.

I can’t explain how rude it is to fly a gaggle of men over to Spain for a dating show on a ship, and then let them one of them know they’re not even allowed to jump onboard. That would be the start of my Joker arc, if I’m honest.

Basically, the girls all had a ticket to board the boat, so it was up to them to go on speed dates with the guys and figure out which bloke they wanted to give a ticket to.

The dates kicked off with a bang when Naomi asked Dan what his name was short for. As expected, Twitter had thoughts on this question.

https://twitter.com/Ben_Shute/status/1577579874213953536

Moana also added a bit of shit to the Twitter commentary stew when she revealed her and Dan (short for Daniel) knew each other and were “friends”. It was giving Gemma Owen having a nervy b when her ex-boyfriend Jacques O’Neill walked into the Love Island villa on Season 8.

Twitter also noticed everyone was looking red as shit. These people need to hit the SPF aisle of Chemist Warehouse ASAP.

Something truly amazing happened when Sari was choosing who she wanted to pick, and a jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring, stunningly fluffy cat walked by.

My first thought was: “Take the cat, babes!” and I’m so glad Twitter agreed with me.

Sadly, things took a turn when it was Katie‘s turn to pick a beau ‘cos she said the wrong name. I don’t want to be dramatic but I would have flung myself into the ocean.

Josh and Ben were the final two blokes waiting to be picked. The poor girl wanted to pick the former but accidentally said Chris‘ name, who had already been chosen by Sari.

Thus Ben was the man who got stitched up by the producers of The Real Love Boat Australia. Smell ya later, Benjamin.

I thought the internet would have more thoughts on how awkward the whole “wrong name” thing was but alas, people were quite tame.

However, Twitter was quick to notice that the love birds had to share a bloody room, like they were bunking with their sibling in a B&B in some butt fuck nowhere country town.

We were also introduced to our captain Paolo Arrigo, head of entertainment Daniel Doody and cruise director Hannah Ferrier.

The internet had thoughts about the value they added to the show, ‘cos all they seemed to do was trot around and stare at everyone on their dates and say shit like: “They’ve got the hottest chemistry”.

Sari and Chris’ date went off on Twitter, probably because she delivered the most fucking iconic one-liner I’ve ever heard: “I want someone who doesn’t really care about my personality.”

The show ended with a recoupling, but this time it was the blokes who got to choose a new lass. We also learned that an intruder would be boarding the cruise in tomorrow night’s episode, so we have that to look forward to.

Alternatively, you can binge watch this mesmerisingly dog shit show when you’re hungover on 10Play.

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