Bachie Actually Gave Us An Uninterrupted Conversation Discussing Bi-Erasure & My Heart Is Full

the bachelorette bierasure

The Bachelorette Australia just quietly delivered some of the most incredible bisexual representation Aussie TV has ever seen, and I’m honestly still processing it.

Now, I know we have high expectations for this season. It’s been marketed as the most diverse Bachie season ever, which makes sense since Brooke Blurton is both the first Indigenous and first bisexual lead this franchise has ever cast, and the cast consists of a mix of men and women, which has never been done on The Bachelorette Australia before.

But you know what??? So far, I haven’t been disappointed!! The premiere saw a gay kiss, a romantic lead that *isn’t* white, and a Welcome to Country. And now, in episode three, we got a scene that I have honestly been waiting for: a genuinely sincere, meaningful discussion on dealing with bi-erasure.

For those of you who don’t know, bi-erasure refers the way people invalidate and erase bisexuality. It can take many forms, from implying that bisexuality is a phase, to not believing people can be attracted to more than one gender, to delegating it as just the step before committing to same-sex attraction, or to dismissing it as a real sexuality altogether. It’s unfortunately really common, and sees a lot of people have to constantly reaffirm and justify that they are really bisexual.

Brooke and Holly (who is currently frontrunner of the season, I would say) had a really honest talk with each other after their date, about the struggles they’ve faced with people erasing or criticising their sexuality. I could paraphrase, but I honestly think it’s better if you just read it for yourself:

Brooke: What were you like in your last relationships? Like, what did you find?

Holly: So I had a long-term partner. We started dating really young. Like, I was 18 and he was 19. We just didn’t… I don’t think we knew ourselves well enough to then be open to knowing the other person. Like… ..I’ve not had a girlfriend that I’ve wanted to bring home to my family. I’ve also never felt the need to come out. I just came home one day and was like “I’m going on a date with a chick.”

Mum’s like, “Okay, cool.”

Brooke: So your mum or parents have never seen you with a girl? They’ve only ever seen you with a boy?

Holly: Yeah, with one boy.

Brooke: What are you looking for in a relationship? Like, is it…is it a girl? Because, obviously, you’re here, and I can’t be the Bachelor. I’m only the Bachelorette.

Holly: Gender is not something that I… I don’t know if this’ll come out right, but I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re a guy. I don’t care if you’re a girl.

For me, it’s always been about who you are on the inside.

Like… I think the only issue that I’ve ever faced is because I’ve not had a girlfriend, people have been, like, “Oh, are you actually bi?” And doubted me for it. And questioned my conviction, and honesty, and truth. 

When I say it doesn’t matter what gender, that’s what I mean. I know who I am, and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.

Brooke: “That’s all I really need to hear. And I would never judge you.

I look at all my different partners, and there are girls and guys, and some have transitioned, and they’re non-binary, and I’m like, I love each and every one of them for their different reasons. I completely and utterly get that, and I just say it, like it’s not about physical things, it’s not about genitalia.

Holly: And people talk about, like, “Oh, what’s your type?” And I think back to the girls and guys that I’ve dated, I’m, like, “Nice. Funny. Caring.”

Brooke: Yeah. All my life, people have tried to put me into boxes, categories, label me. I’ve been called names. And I think it’s, like, you set your own path and, like, nothing really defines you unless you want it to.

A meaningful, honest conversation discussing the struggles of people invalidating bisexual/pansexual experiences, on our TV screens, completely uninterrupted, and with no dramatic music edited over it?? Honestly, it’s groundbreaking.

I’m always cynical with reality TV, but this little moment, which was just a couple of minutes long, really threw me. Here’s to more real moments on television, where people are allowed to just be who they are.

The Bachelorette Australia airs on Channel 10 every Wednesday and Thursday at 7.30pm, and you can watch it on 10play too.