Texas Senate Passes Restrictive Abortion Bill While Under Ban Of Tampons

The Republican-controlled Texan Senate yesterday passed two restrictive anti-abortion bills by a vote of 19 to 11, implementing a ban on abortions taking place twenty weeks into pregnancy.

The Republican-controlled Texan Senate also yesterday implemented a temporary ban on the presence of tampons, pads, glitter and confetti in the Senate gallery, because “That’s my weapon!” is actually an anagram of “Hey, Tampon SWAT!”, Republicans are afraid of menstruating women, and a fistful of glitter is an unimaginable fate worse than death. 
Already approved by the House of Representatives on Wednesday, the bill will now be passed onto Republican Governor Rick Perry, who will then sign it into law. The bill will also change practicing standards for abortion clinics, forcing many to close down and further restricting the access of Texan women to safe, legal abortions. Reports CNN: “The measure bans abortions past 20 weeks of gestation, mandates abortion clinics become ambulatory surgical centers, tightens usage guidelines for the drug RU486 and requires doctors who perform abortions to have admitting privileges at a hospital within 30 miles of the clinic at which they’re providing such services.”
Last month, Democratic Senator Wendy Davis staged an eleven-hour filibuster against the bill, which she says “[creates] a situation where women in Texas today not only will not be made safer but they will absolutely be at risk of their health.”
In a moment of terrifying metaphorical realisation, people with concealed handgun licenses carrying handguns were permitted to bypass queues where women were having their bags searched and feminine hygiene products confiscated, allowing them to enter the Senate gallery by means of an expedited line where they would later put into effect legislation directly affecting the ability of women to make choices regarding their own bodies.  
‘Murica.
Photo: Erich Schlegel via Getty

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