As we have discussed before regarding this demonic sex moth, all insects are fucking disgusting cretins that should just be extinguished from this Earth, no matter what the consequences. Except the bees, because we need them (why? I have never actually known why) and also have you seen a bumblebee? They’re really cute.
Anyway, he’s looking less cute with that gross thing coming out of his mouth. But trust me, they’re cute.
You know what are never, ever cute? Spiders. You can’t just squash them like cockroaches ‘cos they’re big and hairy (usually), and scurry up walls. They don’t fly – a plus in my books – but they DO just drop on you in the middle of the night and try and crawl into your ear to lay babies. That has never happened to me but I imagine it has happened somewhere. Surely.
In Switzerland this week, one woman was NOT. HAVING. IT. With a spider she found in her bed. So much so that she called the actual cops.
That’s Chur, Switzerland resident Fia Tuor, 28. She technically called the fire department – but they despatched three cops, who legitimately took her situation seriously and even said they were amazed at the size of the spider.
It’s a lol for us Aussies who see hand-sized huntsmen on the regular.
Fia initially put a call out to her Facebook friends to see if anyone had any advice.
Before eventually calling the fire department.
“My hands were prickling and I could barely breathe,” she told news outlet Blick.
The officers ended up catching the spider and releasing it outside.
Now, I’m well aware that in rough-and-ready ‘Straya, we deal with this shit and then some on an almost daily basis. Hell, we remove fucking BROWN SNAKES from toilets and beds with our bare hands down here.
But in other parts of the world, scary insects aren’t the norm. As much as I haaaaate bugs with the fire of a thousand suns, I’m not likely to call the cops to rescue me from one (I have absolutely however called my Dad before). But I can forgive this poor gal for calling the popo because guys, she had a bloody panic attack over the spider.
Sigh. Bugs, man.
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