Study Claims To Know Exactly What 20-Something Australians Want

Today’s Sydney Morning Herald contains an EXCLUSIVE report revealing what 20-something Australians really want. The long-awaited answer, it would still seem, is ‘It All.’

A house, a job and someone to perform regular sex acts with – somebody sensitive, courageous, sexy, cool, like you – all the while maintaining the freedom of being able to say ‘fuck it yolo hashtag’ and travel the world at a moment’s notice, which is now apparently a “divine right.” 
These are the top priorities common to Australian men and women aged between 25-29 according to focus group social research conducted by Ipsos and complied into The Late 20s Mind & Mood Report: The Rosetta Stone of Australian Youth.
Ipsos director Rebecca Huntley observes that “The 30 deadline is still very important for young Australians, particularly the women,” who, like their spirit animal Amanda Bynes in a movie of the same name, are trying to figure out exactly what it is that a girl wants. “We’ve never had a generation in the late 20s with so many choices in the way they want to go,” says Huntley.
For these indecisive Millennials travel is “a national obsession” and something of “a divine right of being Australian.” Other anecdotal evidence also suggests that getting hitched and popping out iPod: Mini versions of themselves is no longer a desirable option, as the duty of care one has toward their Human Mini would get in the way of going to #Coachella. 
Fairfax’s report on the findings then proceeds to detail the hopes, dreams and dat aspirations of a regular ole 25-year-old Surry Hills resident, which you probably don’t need to read because that’s you, isn’t it, in the accompanying photo – “mulling life” over a chilled white at a trendy small bar with your three best gal pals, because every night’s a gal’s night when you’re a Young Australian. It’s all very Girls.
Previously in quantifiable research concerning Young Australians, we’re fkn rude and also dirt poor.
Probably because of all the divine holidays.
via #SMH