‘Straya’s #1 Bloke Jonesy Woke Up To A 2nd Man In Cheryl’s Bed On ‘MAFS’

A little while ago, we wrote that the relationship between Sean and Susan on Channel 9’s Married At First Sight was the most authentic and wholesome thing Australian reality TV has coughed up in living memory.

We almost immediately regretted our starry-eyed innocence, as Andrew “Jonesy” Jones delivered some of the most roundly-criticised blokey-bloke behaviour ever broadcast in the name of entertainment. 

Now, it appears the shitstorm between him and second-chance “wife” Cheryl Maitland has reached its most intense point, as The Daily Telegraph claims Jonesy woke to find another bloke sleeping in Maitland’s bed during his visit to her Queensland home.
Maitland says the guy was a gay platonic friend of hers, who she’d been out with the night before. He’d originally been sleeping on the couch, before Maitland shooed him into the bedroom so her housemates could enjoy breaky. 
It’s alleged Jonesy bolted that morning, and told producers he wanted out. He was coerced back, but still: Cool.
The most prurient voyeurs among us will be disappointed to hear that moment won’t make its way onto screens, but here’s another tidbit to tide y’all over: it’s been alleged one of Maitland’s m8s poked Jonesy in the neck with her stiletto a few hours prior. 

Again, y’all won’t get to see that one go down, but you can expect to see that incident’s ramifications play out during tonight’s Commitment Ceremony (why are there so many of these? Does commitment need topping up like a bloody Myki?).

If you want to erase all of the warm and fuzzies Sean & Susan created, you’ll be able to watch this disaster unfold at 7:30 tonight. We certainly will. Then, we’ll probably scream into our pillows until our throats bleed.